RUSH TO JUDGMENT
Limbaugh wins, wasn't doctor shopping. He was "physician choosing."
SLAMMING SAMI
Judge Moody tells Al-Arian: "Your only connection to widows and orphans was that you create them."
ADVICE FOR TEENS
Commit the crime, then brag about it on myspace.com. Not the other way around.
SUPREMES SIDE WITH ANNA NICOLE
She has a way with senior citizens.
IORIO CLEANS HOUSE
Dozens of longtime administrators gone during her tenure; city council balks at upping budget for gold watches.
ENERGY SECRETARY
ACKNOWLEDGES CRISIS
Next up for Bush Cabinet: Rumsfeld says Iraq War is going "less than optimally."
UP 35 CENTS A GALLON
IN THE PAST MONTH
Still cheaper than a black-market kidney.
BUSH AND ALTERING REALITY
Once again, the president hopes snow will solve all his problems.
—Joel via blurbex.com
CONGRESSIONAL HOOKER PROBE
Please let it involve Katherine Harris. Please let it involve Katherine Harris. Please let it involve …
HARRIS RESPONDS:
"Please let it involve Charlie Sheen. Please let it involve Charlie Sheen. Please let it involve …"
OUR VISION
"A truly unrelenting commitment to unsurpassed quality performance par excellence."
Compiled by Weekly Planet staff
This article appears in May 3-9, 2006.