What: Turn down hordes of naked women.

Where: Mons Venus, 2040 N. Dale Mabry, Tampa

Must-Do? Says Who? Pretty much everyone—“Oh you gotta go to Mons…”

Casualties: $20 cover and ten or so singles each. But keeping the casualties this low was certainly a feat of endurance.

Notable Quotable: “Why don’t I get two of my hot girlfriends and we’ll have ourselves an orgy?”

“My titties,” a girl announced to us at the Mons Venus, conveniently cupping them, referring to her breasts as if she were making a formal introduction, as if she was asking, “Have you met before?” and we were supposed to respond, “A pleasure to finally meet you face to face, you’ve been covered up for so long but I’ve heard so much about you.”

But that was all subtext. What she actually said was, “My titties. Who wants to play?” And then she rubbed them all over me.

This article appears in Jul 25-31, 2007.