Dear Oracle, I grew up in an abusive household. Some of that abuse was very direct, and some of it was indirect. I began seeing a therapist in my early 20s, and over the past 20 years, I felt like I processed it and unlearned a lot of what was instilled in me. I even had compassion for one of my parents, recognizing them as a co-victim. If you had asked me a year ago, I would have said that I was as “over it” as one could be. But a month ago, I turned the age my abuser was when everything started, and I am filled with an incredible rage, not just at my abuser (who knew better) but also at all the adults in my life who let it happen. That compassion I felt is gone. I’m so angry at all of them, and I don’t know what to do about it. My abuser is dead, so I can’t yell at them. I don’t know if I want to confront all the other adults because I don’t know what good it would do. They’re in their late 70s/early 80s, and it was so long ago, and until recently, I was fine. What should I do with this rage?—The Only Adult Around Here
Cards: Seven of Swords (reversed), Ten of Swords (reversed), Four of Swords, Queen of Pentacles, Knight of Wands (reversed), The Sun (reversed)
Dear Adult,
You should have been protected from your abuser. I am so sorry that you weren’t and that all these adults and caregivers failed you in this basic task. You deserved so much more, and I’m so sorry you went through this.
Laurie Kahn, a trauma therapist, once wrote that “one of the cruelest truths about childhood trauma is the way it revisits its victims when they are adults.” Trauma runs deep, and while we can process it, new layers can appear later on, bubbling to the surface long after the fact. What you’re going through is not uncommon.
With the Seven of Swords and Ten of Swords paired and both reversed, I think you’re reaching the bottom of that trauma. The Seven of Swords is often a card of self-destruction and betrayal, but in the case of childhood trauma, it might have been your coping mechanism to get through it. You may have had to deny the hurt from the bystanders for a long time because they were your only stability as a child. But now, as an adult, you can see what they were lacking, and that does open up for a deeper level of grief. It is seeing the final betrayal. That’s an incredibly difficult thing.
With the Ten of Swords, this might be the final “rock bottom” of this tragedy. It is all the fear and hatred and pain up front, all the hurt and grievances laid out before you. You have the facts—and with everything finally out in the light, you can take it from there. You can begin to process this. Again.
With the Four of Swords and Queen of Pentacles, I do think this would be a good time to revisit this trauma with a therapist. The Four of Swords here is offering a quiet place to rest the mind and let it process. While Swords are the sign of air, the Four of Swords is often drawn as a sarcophagus—it’s going about going to ground. You need quiet and space to process this, and I think a skilled therapist will be a great help to you in this difficult time.
While your therapist might be the Queen of Pentacles, I wonder if you need to be this queen for yourself. The Queen on Pentacles is a grounded, earthly mother who knows what she values and gives herself generously. You can be that grounding, caring mother for yourself. You can hold on to what you value as you go through this healing process. You can be kind and generous with the grace you give yourself. This might be a difficult process, but you can protect yourself in many ways.
But you will be able to process this. You will be able to transmute this anger into something useful. It just might be messy.
The final pair is the Knight of Wands and Sun, both reversed. The Knight of Wands is a fiery one, riding a bucking bronco and filled with passion and energy. He is an agent of change and a passionate one at that. That fire and energy might come through with you confronting those adults in your life. It might come through with you making some radical decisions or you channeling all of that energy into a completely new direction. (This Knight does have quite the wanderlust.) Whatever it is, you will be able to take that rage and channel it into something new.
I can’t help but look at the images on The Sun. It is a baby, riding a white horse (the same horse as the Knight of Wands) and holding a banner of triumph. If there were any card that represented a thriving child, it would be this one. Many therapists talk about “reparenting” yourself if your caregivers did not give you the support you needed, and I think that’s especially true here.
But with The Sun, I think that not only will you succeed, but you’ll be happy. You’ll go beyond feeling “fine.” You’ll thrive. There is an optimism, both bright and deep with The Sun, and it’s a light that endures.
You ask about what to do with this anger. The truth is, I don’t know. I don’t know what you feel about “closure” or what that would look like in this circumstance, or whether confronting those adults would be beneficial or harmful to you.
But I do think that with time (and a good therapist), you’ll be able to climb up from under all of those swords and find your place in the sun.
Thank you for trusting me with your question.
See more of Caroline and learn about her services via carolinedebruhl.com.
This article appears in May 07 – 13, 2026.