Oracle of Ybor: You’re thinking about leaving him, and it’s time to be honest with yourself

Remember: Everything in life is temporary.

click to enlarge The Two of Wands is a hopeful card of balance and labor, but it’s next to the King of Pentacles reversed. - SF4041/ADOBE
The Two of Wands is a hopeful card of balance and labor, but it’s next to the King of Pentacles reversed.
Dear Oracle, I have been in a relationship for the past four years. We have a child together. I am unhappy because I do everything, not only for my son but for my significant other also. He struggles with mental health, so I have been trying to be the rock for everyone to lean on, but it takes a toll on me. When do I draw the line between being supportive and leaving because nothing is ever going to change and focus on me and my son?—Tired Of Trying

Cards: Two of Wands, King of Pentacles reversed, Queen of Swords reversed, Two of Cups reversed, Eight of Cups.

Dear Tired, you can end a relationship any time you want, for any reason. That doesn’t always feel true because there are times when it seems callous or cruel to end things, especially if the other person is suffering. Others might judge you, you might even judge yourself, but that doesn’t mean you can’t leave. That door is always open.

I say this because I think you’ve already drawn that line. You say, “Nothing is ever going to change,” a statement that is utterly devoid of hope.

The Two of Wands is a hopeful card of balance and labor, but it’s next to the King of Pentacles reversed. You had hoped your partner would be a provider, someone who gives as much as they take (something that we all hope for), but those hopes seem dashed. We have the Queen of Swords reversed, who is both a hard worker, someone gunning for control, and someone who has a critical eye.

It can feel impossible to win in adult relationships if one partner is both caretaker and critic. It frames things in a paternalistic way: you become someone’s mother or, worse, nagging wife. You’re reduced to a sitcom shrill. And that can breed resentment and spoil what’s left of a relationship because it’s no longer a relationship of two partners.

With the Two of Cups reversed, it seems like you have abandoned hope that things will change. But, as you said before, “nothing is ever going to change.”

The Eight of Cups is fleeing the life you knew to walk an unknown path, and I think this might be your relationship. This relationship can change, but it can’t simply end because of your son. While you might not be partners, you’ll still be mom and dad, and you’ll have to figure out how to co-parent and manage your son’s needs.

I think the first step is to be truly honest with yourself. How did this breakdown happen, how can you leave safely, how can you focus on yourself and your son? If you’re able to safely, you should also talk about all of this with your significant other. If it is over, it’s over, but that doesn’t mean you get to avoid a painful talk. Again, there’s a child in the mix. Things have to be settled.

Dear Oracle, I applied and was hired at the “grab” restaurant in the business, like world-renowned etc. Still think it’s a fluke they hired me. It’s been a not-so-easy six months there, with a lot of petty people. With a place like that, you don’t expect it. I feel like it’s made me physically ill. So far I’ve had the flu, back issues, and felt rotten when I have to work in a certain department. But, when it’s good, it’s euphoric—the best place I’ve ever been, and finally someplace worthy of me. It’s a classic inner struggle of is the good worth staying or does the bad outweigh it. Am I on the right path by staying?—Good Enough?

Cards: You—Knight of Swords reversed. Stay—Full Moon, Knight of Wands reversed, Seven of Pentacles reversed, Go—Seven of Cups reversed, Wheel of Fortune, Three of Cups.

Dear Good Enough, you’re certainly a hard worker—the Knight of Swords is riding like mad towards big things like TRUTH and BEAUTY and isn’t scared of labor, though is a bit more of a romantic than is probably good for them.

That romanticism probably helped you feel like this world-renowned job would be thee job, though that doesn’t seem to be the case. I’m sorry that people are petty, and I’m very sorry that your health has been suffering. Being in pain can dampen even the most stellar of situations. But, when it comes down to it, I think you need to be honest with yourself about what you truly want out of a job.

It’s not a bad lot if you stay. The Full Moon is a monster truck of energy, and paired with the Knight of Wands, this could have the potential to be a very creative place for you. I’m unsure if you’re working front of house or back, but if you’re on the line, this big energy can be a double edge sword. Chefs do work in an environment of stress and fire, and the Knight of Wands can lose their temper quickly, so don’t burn yourself out or burn down the building. And then, of course, there’s the money. While you might not be seeing a ton of it now, this can grow to be a lucrative career and gives you a sense of pride when you talk about it. But the promise of creativity and more money might not be enough for you.

If you leave, you’re throwing yourself to the mercy of Fate with the Wheel of Fortune.

But, seven of Cups shows that you also have tempting offers that can be good for you or can derail you, so keep a level head when choosing. But, I suspect you are looking for a place that offers camaraderie and friendship with that Three of Cups.

I’m afraid this is a grass-is-always greener situation. On the one hand, you have stability that can offer creativity and filthy lucre. But, on the other, you have the big risk that can end with a loving and genuine partnership, which can be invaluable for a career. Again, I think you need to be very honest with yourself about what you want out of your job and what you need at this stage in your career.

Send your questions for the Oracle to [email protected] or DM @theyboracle on Instagram
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