13 Ghosts (PG-13) 21st century remake of the old William Castle spookfest about a family trapped in the haunted house they've just inherited. Stars F. Murray Abraham, Tony Shalhoub and Shannon Elizabeth.
(Not Reviewed)
Amazing Journeys (PG) IMAX films are about scale, size — from the unfathomably huge (the oceans, the cosmos themselves) to the microscopically small — and this latest IMAX production gives us a little bit to look at from both ends of the spectrum. Amazing Journeys examines the migration habits of various creatures.
Amelie (NR) Plucky, quintessentially quirky Amelie (saucer-eyed Audrey Tautou) spends her time choreographing good deeds and love connections for her neighbors and, eventually, herself. Amelie, which is as much a fairy tale as it is a cartoon, brims with imagination and emotion, and the impossibly fetching Montemartre neighborhood in which it's set is as much a dreamscape as it is an actual physical location. As is his stylistic want, director Jean-Pierre Jeunet crams every inch of the film with marvelously composed shots of bric-a-brac and arcane doodads, lavishing equal, fetishistic attention upon a kitschy garden gnome and the sensual pleasure of cracking open the crust on a well-turned creme brulee. Also stars Mathieu Kassovitz. Held over at Tampa Theatre. Call theater to confirm.
Behind Enemy Lines (R) This film was completed before 9-11, so instead of jihad-crazy Muslims, the nasty bad guys here are the murderous Serbs who shoot down bored Yankee fly-boy Owen Wilson during a routine reconnaissance mission over Bosnia. Wilson then spends the entire movie on the run from his vicious pursuers while his NATO superiors bicker over the delicate particulars of his rescue. The movie has all the depth of a Little Lulu comic, but director John Moore shoots the action in such a blatantly visceral, hyper-kinetic manner that we just can't look away.
Black Knight (PG-13) Martin Lawrence plays a medieval theme park employee who gets dunked in a funky looking moat and finds himself magically transported back to the actual 14th Century. The movie's too lacking in energy to bother developing a few decent jokes (not to mention characters), and simply goes through the motions of telling its story, not exactly incompetently, but certainly as if it had been written on autopilot.
Cirque du Soleil: Journey of Man (G) Multimedia performance artists/acrobats/magicians Cirque du Soleil find their way to the big screen — the really big screen — in this visually spectacular IMAX 3-D experience. The film's astonishing imagery constitutes an authentic document of Cirque du Soleil in motion, as well as a beautifully poetic tribute to the glory of the human body. At IMAX Channelside.
Everest (PG) The best IMAX movie to date returns. Everest chronicles an expedition to the world's tallest peak. As with most other IMAX films, breathtaking, vertigo-inducing cinematography and nifty science facts abound. But unlike most other IMAX films, there's an actual narrative here, complete with humor, suspense, real human characters and mythic scope. At MOSI's IMAX Dome Theater. Call theater to confirm.
From Hell (R) Ye Old London Town comes off as a cross between something out of a vintage Hammer flick and a Marilyn Manson horrorshow, with Johnny Depp starring as an absinthe-swilling, opium-smoking inspector on the trail of history's first and, arguably, most notorious serial killer, Jack the Ripper (depicted here as a predictable blend of Lecter and Dracula). The moody atmosphere in this most explicit and goriest of mainstream Ripper movies is so thick you could cut it with a bloody scalpel.
Grateful Dawg (PG-13) Recommended for only the most die-hard of fans, this shoddily made documentary on longtime musical collaborators Jerry Garcia and David Grisman has all the drawbacks and little of the charm of a glorified home movie. Consisting of way too much poorly shot footage and listless, utterly unenlightening interviews with friends and colleagues, Grateful Dawg has only the music itself going for it. If you're not a fan of the music, stay away. Opens Dec. 21 at local theaters.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (PG) A wizard, a true star. Living up to the hype in almost every way, Chris Columbus' big screen adaptation of the first Harry Potter book is a rousing blend of fantasy, mystery, action and pure charm that puts the film in a league with modern adventure classics like Raiders of the Lost Ark or the original Star Wars trilogy. The movie creates a genuine sense of wonder and its 2 1/2 hours practically fly by, bolstered by a strong script, amazing sets and special effects, a classic John Williams score, and some great performances by a well chosen cast of young newcomers and seasoned pros, all of whom strike just the right tone. Stars Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Robbie Coltrane, Richard Harris, Alan Rickman and Maggie Smith.
Heist (R) David Mamet is back with a crowd he clearly loves — con artists and crooks — but don't expect the metaphysical mind games of The Spanish Prisoner or House of Games this time around. Heist is about as close to a no-frills action movie as Mamet's likely to come, with a number of set pieces revolving around finely tuned robberies, and a relative minimum of angst or stylized chat (although it does contain its share of prime Mametspeak). Gene Hackman is in top form as the leader of a gang of tough but weirdly endearing thieves, and it's his presence that really carries the film. The movie's twists and turns begin to seem a bit contrived after a while, but, on the whole, Heist is an oddly crowd-pleasing bit of business that shows that the commercialization of David Mamet continues apace. Also stars Danny DeVito.
Hearts in Atlantis (PG-13) Based in part on a Stephen King novel, and much in the mold of Stand by Me, Hearts in Atlantis takes adorable children with loads of character and jolts their humdrum lives with a dose of adventure — this time of a rather cosmic sort. The film trucks in quiet suspense and genuine human interaction, and is imbued with a pervasive sweetness, all of which should play well to the current national mood. Stars Anthony Hopkins.
—Eric Snider
Iron Ladies (NR) The Thai import Iron Ladies is shallow, manipulative, badly made and almost completely predictable. It's also an awful lot of fun. Iron Ladies is the true story of a Thai male volleyball team composed almost entirely of gay men, cross-dressers and even a bona fide transsexual. Outside of the exotic Asian trappings and the outsider sexuality of the characters, the story here will seem all-too familiar to anyone who's ever seen a Hollywood movie about a team of misfit athletes, Bad News Bears not excluded. Stars Chaichan Nimpoonosawas, Sahaparp Virakamin and Siridhana Hongsophon.
Island of the Sharks (PG) Another intriguing, typically beautiful IMAX underwater feature, this one taking us eyeball to eyeball with the denizens of the waters around the Cocos Islands off the coast of Costa Rica. At Channelside IMAX.
Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius (G) It takes a little while for this computer-animated feature from Nickelodeon to find its groove, but once it does, it rarely lets us down. The brisk little romp of a story will appeal to adults almost as much as to kids (a pint-size savant with a hairdo like a scoop of softserve leads a rescue mission for alien-abducted parents) and it all cruises along nicely on a steady stream of nifty 3-D visuals and highly entertaining gags. Directed by John A. Davis. Opens Dec. 21 at local theaters.
Joe Somebody (PG-13) Lost-in-the-crowd loser Joe Sheffer (Tim Allen) finds himself slapped around by the office bully (Patrick Warburton, a.k.a. Puddy from Seinfeld). To save face he challenges the thug to a rematch and suddenly becomes the office star. The movie becomes a story of middle-agers stuck with elementary school dilemmas. Allen becomes popular, but with the age-old at what cost? theme. The film flops as the adults fall into more and more childish behavior. The few slapstick moments provided by Allen and Jim Belushi barely breathe life into Joe Somebody. Opens Dec. 21 at local theaters.
—Robert Napper
Kate and Leopold (PG-13) A retro fairy tale (fashioned as a sci-fi love story) designed to have us yearning for a kinder, gentler time when chivalry wasn't dead and men charged to the rescue of women on speedy white steeds. Meg Ryan stars as successful but emotionally frustrated modern-day businesswoman who falls for a well-mannered 19th century duke (Hugh Jackman) who mysteriously materializes in her apartment building one day. The film is ridiculous but just charming enough to offer some pleasure. Also stars Liev Schrieber. Opens Dec. 25 at local theaters.
K-PAX (PG-13) Kevin Spacey stars as an enigmatic mental patient who befuddles and eventually charms everyone in sight, and ultimately even teaches his shrink (Jeff Bridges) to be a better person. Director Iain Softley creates a genuine sense of wonder for most of K-PAX's running time, although the magic dissipates a bit during the movie's second half, which dwells more on the history and psychology of Spacey's character. Also stars Mary McCormack.
Life as a House (R) Kevin Kline stars as a terminally ill man who decides to spend his last few months building himself a swanky home by the sea, while simultaneously attempting to build bridges with his estranged son (Hayden Christensen) and ex-wife (Kristin Scott Thomas). Director Irwin Winkler's ham-fisted approach often makes it feel like the movie might have been better expressed on a greeting card.
The Majestic (PG-13) Jim Carrey stars as a blacklisted Hollywood screenwriter who loses his memory and winds up washed ashore in an idyllic little town where he's mistaken for a long lost war hero. Carrey's character soon discovers that it's a wonderful life — only problem is it isn't his. This latest effort by director Frank Darabont (The Green Mile, The Shawshank Redemption) has its heart solidly in the right place, but the movie seems to just coast along on elaborate padding and sugary frills; The Majestic is too long, too slow, too sweet and doesn't carry nearly the emotional punch it ought to. Also stars Martin Landau and Laurie Holden. Opens Dec. 25 at local theaters.
The Man Who Wasn't There (R) From its very title to its blackmail and murder-laced plot, The Man Who Wasn't There is about as close to classic film noir as the Coen Brothers have ever come (Blood Simple included) albeit with a few flying saucers and Lolita-esque nymphets thrown in, just to screw with our heads. Billy Bob Thornton is just about perfect as a milquetoast husband trapped in a loveless marriage and a joyless job, while Roger Deakins' black-and-white photography is lush and mesmerizing. Also stars Frances McDormand, Scarlett Johansson, Tony Shalhoub and James Gandolfini.
Miracle on 34th Street (NR) The 1947 classic is a staple during the holiday season. A skeptical, tough-as-nails mom (Maureen O'Hara )and her precocious daughter (a very young Natalie Wood) discover that the Santa Claus at Macy's (Edmund Gwenn) is not the garden-variety drunk but the real deal, and the jolly man in the red suit stands trial to prove his identity. Screens one time only, 3 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 23, at Tampa Theatre.
—Julie Garisto
Monsters, Inc. (G) Imagination runs rampant in the best possible way in this latest animated treat from the folks at Pixar Studios (Toy Story 1 & 2, A Bug's Life). The movie's a vaguely screwballish comedy of errors, a bit like Three Men and a Baby, except that the men are actually monsters. Cute, likable monsters that is, who belong to a community of multishaped beasties who accidentally come into contact with one of the adorable little children they're charged with scaring. If the material isn't quite up to the trend-setting brilliance of the Toy Story movies, that's only a minor stumbling block in an otherwise clever and endearing entertainment. Featuring the voices of John Goodman, Billy Crystal, James Coburn and Steve Buscemi.
Not Another Teen Movie (R) A spoof of all those teen-of-the-month-movies, from the spoof specialists responsible for Scary Movie, and pretty much in the same mold. Just about every convention and cliche of every teen movie of the last few years is skewered, with humor that veers from the extremely raunchy boobs and bodily function variety. Some of the jokes hit home, but the movie takes aim exclusively at easy targets and after 45 minutes or so we're ready for it to be over. Not Another Teen Movie is so stuffed to the gills with dead-end sarcasm it's like the film's OD'ed on the stuff and gone to Irony Heaven, where rigor mortis has already set in. Stars Chris Evans, Chyler Leigh, Mia Kirshner, Jaime Pressly.
Novocaine (R) A slightly quirky, slightly humorous update of vintage film noir, replete with double and triple crosses, femme fatales and a slippery world where one small mistake turns hero into antihero and plunges the everyday into chaos. The everyday shnook at the center of Novocaine is a boring and bored dentist (Martin) whose life quickly begins to go down the tubes when he falls for a drug-gobbling grifter (Helena Bonham Carter, doing a subtle variation on her role in Fight Club). Held over at Main Street Cinema. Please call to confirm.
Ocean's Eleven (PG-13) Steven Soderbergh's briskly entertaining remake of the 1960 Rat Pack vehicle is about as disposable as the original but, as with the original, it's so much fun you'll hardly notice. About all that really happens here is the planning and execution of an elaborate Las Vegas casino heist, but Soderbergh stages and shoots the action with such an appealingly economic style and immediacy that we find ourselves sucked right into the proceedings. The film moves at a breezy clip propelled by the star power of George Clooney and Brad Pitt, but the able supporting cast are quite good as well (particularly co-conspirators Matt Damon and Carl Reiner). It's all very light and jazzy, with a solid romantic core and an appealingly retro soundtrack. Also stars Julia Roberts, Andy Garcia, Bernie Mac and Don Cheadle.
The One (PG-13) Apparently failing to learn any sort of lesson from all those awful Jean-Claude Van Damme flicks where the Muscle from Brussels plays battling twins, Jet Li takes on himself in this vaguely sci-fi-ish action blow-out. The nonstop heavy metal soundtrack is alone enough to drive you from the theater.
Out Cold (PG-13) Skateboarding slackers versus yuppie entrepreneurs in Alaska. Stars Jason London, Flex Alexander and Zach Galifianakis.
(Not Reviewed)
Serendipity (PG-13) Another sticky-sweet and thoroughly uncomplicated romantic comedy about fate and true love, in which the main characters spend the entire movie trying to find each other. The movie is basically harmless but overly long, and its allusions to destiny and mystical connections are just short of pretentious. Stars John Cusack and the chick from Pearl Harbor.
Shackleton's Antarctic Adventure (PG) An engaging mix of history, drama, fascinating archival footage and breathtaking, state-of-the-art photography, Shackleton's Antarctic Adventure tells the incredible true tale of an epic battle for survival in the wake of a failed expedition to cross Antarctica in 1914.
Shallow Hal (PG-13) The notorious Farrelly Brothers are back, with their least gross and, frankly, least funny film to date. Shallow Hal is the unconvincingly sweet story of the redemption of a sexist pig (Jack Black) who is one day magically blessed/cursed with the ability to only see inner beauty — resulting in his falling head over heels with a 300 pound woman (Gwyneth Paltrow, sometimes seen in an elaborate fat suit). A trim of about 20 minutes would have been a considerable help, and most of the best jokes were given away in the movie's trailer. Also stars Jason Alexander.
Sidewalks of New York (R) Even if you're a huge Ed Burns fan you may find Sidewalks of New York hard to take. Burns' Woody Allen fetish has never been so pronounced, and the entire film plays like an uninspired rehashing of any number of Allen's talky tales of modern Manhattanites.
Spy Game (R) Typically slick, hyper-amped Tony Scott production about a retiring CIA officer (Robert Redford) who discovers his one-time protege (Brad Pitt) is about to be executed in China. Despite all the visual gymnastics, Spy Game never develops much real forward momentum, mostly because virtually the entire movie consists of a series of extended flashbacks that simply detail the exploits of Redford and Pitt's characters over a period of 15 years.
Texas Rangers (PG-13) Youth-oriented docudrama about the post-Civil War formation of the Texas Rangers, a group of leathered men who took it upon themselves to battle outlaws terrorizing 1875 Texas. Stars Dylan McDermott, Usher Raymond, Tom Skerritt and Ashton Kutcher.
(Not Reviewed)
Training Day (R) Rookie narc Ethan Hawke gets in way over his head during his first day on the job, when his partner/mentor (Denzel Washington) turns out to be the worst role-model cop since Harvey Keitel's character in Bad Lieutenant.
Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust (NR) Equal parts atmosphere-drenched horror, gothic romance, surrealistic sci-fi and mutated spaghetti western — and all filtered through the distinctive brand of Japanese animation known as anime — Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust must surely sound like a mess. Amazingly enough, it's not. The story takes place in a distant, post-apocalyptic future, where a conflicted bounty hunter named D competes with a rival band of mercenaries to rescue a beautiful aristocrat kidnapped by a vampire. What this visually spectacular anime is really about is about pure imagination, about mood and more mood, and about one incredible sight after another. Alternately brooding and frenzied, claustrophobic and grandly proportioned, this often violent and always stylish feature establishes its uniquely creepy universe from its very first frames, and then just pulls us deeper and deeper into the darkness. Held over at Channelside Cinemas. Call theater to confirm.
Vanilla Sky (R) Tom Cruise chews up the screen in this faithful-to-a-fault remake of a Spanish cult film about a self-obsessed playboy who finds reality and fantasy blurring after he's involved in a terrible accident. It's to director Cameron Crowe's credit that he didn't try to dumb down or sugarcoat the source material — Vanilla Sky is one of the strangest and most fascinating meditations on identity to emerge from a major Hollywood studio in decades — and yet there seems to be very little reason for this version's existence, other than as a bone thrown to subtitle-resistant English-speaking audiences. Crowe's only real innovations here include a gratuitous pop-rock soundtrack that robs the film of much of its mystery and a penchant for turning Cruise's confusion into more of a psychedelic freak-out than it really needs to be. Also stars Penelope Cruz and Cameron Diaz.
—Reviewed entries by Lance Goldenberg unless otherwise noted.
New Video Releases
Moulin Rouge
The Princess Diaries
Scary Movie 2
This article appears in Dec 20-26, 2002.
