Punks and wannabes have been cleared from the fray, and now the serious work of burger competition truly begins: patties and buns competing in the final rounds of the CL's big beef brouhaha. At the end of this week, only four hamburgers, the best of the best, can remain in the competition. Which unknown burger joint manages to belt out a rockin' Beatles tune? Which celebrity burger stumbles doing the patty polka?
The Edible Eight
El Cap continued its expected domination of the brackets, the No. 1 seed easily surpassing the tasty but typical burger from waterfront fish house The Wharf. In a battle for North Pinellas, Dunedin Brewery went patty to patty with neighboring Kelly's … For Just About Anything! The beery brewery burger put up a good fight, but Kelly's superlative burger, fresh from a close victory over Café Ponte last week, was not to be denied.
Central St. Pete saw much closer contests, especially between the refined steakhouse burger of Parkshore Grill and the raucous offering from The Kitchen. Parkshore's solid patty had a fab crust, great seasoning and perfect grillmarks, but suffered from a temperature that was more medium than the mid-rare ordered. The Kitchen's thick, loose, hand-formed burger was too much for the waterfront fine-dining joint to handle.
Meanwhile, Brisket Basket put forth an overcooked burger dripping with salty juice, only to be downed by mega-chain Ruby Tuesday's rosy red masterpiece.
In North Tampa and Downtown, fan favorite Five Guys' chain burger went wrapper to wrapper with local classic Mel's Hot Dogs in a battle of the diner-style patties. The burgers could be clones, but Five Guys eked out a win thanks to beef a notch above Mel's mediocre meat. Malio's massive downtown steakburger edged past the utilitarian, but tasty, offering from Grillsmith.
Scrappy newcomer Square 1 Burgers, just two weeks from the restaurant's opening day, put forth a good effort but took the worst of it against the technically proficient burger from International Plaza's Capital Grille.
None of these matches compare, however, to the titanic main event in the round of 16: Bern's vs. Pane Rustica. Bern's makes a great burger that's available only at the bar, formed from beef ground in-house from their formidable supply of superior meat. On the plate, it's restrained, the essence of beef on a bland bun. But Pane Rustica's misshapen patty is just as tasty and comes on whatever bread you choose from their incredible bakery, the final product loaded with flavor and vitality. And, oddly enough, this little bakery restaurant managed to cook the beef better than big daddy Bern's. Pane Rustica moves on.
The Final Four
El Cap vs. Kelly's … For Just About Anything: In perhaps the most hotly contested match of the entire tournament, Dunedin upstart Kelly's attempted to unseat the Bay area's biggest burger favorite. El Cap's deceptively petite patty dripped with juice after the first bite, the slab of iceberg and Wonder Bread-y bun the perfect match for this two-bite burger. Kelly's came to the table big, just as juicy and cooked perfectly from crusty hash marks to glistening pink center. As good as El Cap is, you can do more with a bigger burger. And Kelly's delivered everything ordered. It's razor thin, but Kelly's gets the win.
The Kitchen vs. Ruby Tuesday: No contest here. Although Ruby Tuesday knows how to cook a burger — and is one of the only chains that will give you what you want, from well to rare — The Kitchen's burger is bigger, better and ballsier than anything this chain outfit can put out. The Kitchen easily rolls into the Final Four.
Five Guys vs. Malio's: This is a much closer match than it appears. On one hand is rapidly expanding fast-food force Five Guys, with a thin patty formed from actual ground beef right there in the store. On the other is another staid steakhouse burger, expertly cooked, a little bland, but incredibly filling. It's like comparing apples and oranges. In this case, Five Guys' apple ekes out a win.
Pane Rustica vs. Capital Grille: Just like in the Central St. Pete bracket, this match was almost predetermined. Capital Grille's technical skill can't compete with the lively patty and amazing bread of Pane Rustica. Pane Rustica is headed to the Final Four.
Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion to CL's Tournament of Burgers, as we enlist a group of celebrity judges to get their hands greasy and shirts stained, all to pick the grand champeen. We'll also tabulate the more than 1,000 brackets we've received to determine CL's Burgermeister of Bracketology (glory! prizes!) and announce who wins the ballot-stuffing contest also known as the Readers' Choice Award.
This article appears in Mar 26 – Apr 1, 2008.