Rabid Nick and the diabolical dynamics of dating

==Rule 1==

Since you and your special lady friend (or supple guy buddy) are not in a relationship, you're single and thus are still allowed to paint the streets with the musk of your sexiness.


FAIL: The lovely, adorable, anonymous member of the dating scene who I’ve been on a few dates with has clearly stated that if I so much as make out with another woman (or boy even, sorry Hopper), she’ll call it off, whatever the hell it is we’re doing. The Rabid One’s relationship sense is vibrantly tingling,  which is okay considering the next rule.

==Rule 2==

Since there's no commitment, any party that calls off this supposedly simple arrangement, concedes that no drama will be produced, once said party starts hitchhiking on “leaving you in the dust highway."


DOUBLE FAIL:Another random lady in the Rabid One's “friend zone” let me know that she adamantly agreed with my naïve summation of rule number one. However, she also said that if a guy she was doing the dating tango with kissed another woman she would rain down fire and herpes scares on him in revenge. No, that doesn’t sound like drama at all, says the lying drama llama.

==Rule 3==

Considering it’s a short, simple, commitment free exchange, any physical interactions, such as making out will take place in double the amount of time it would take two love puppies in a full relationship. A good girl doesn't rush into the sack.


ABSOLUTE BOLLOCKS: In all honesty this one IS true, but it's truly a hippopotamus of hypocrisy. Holy mother of nuns, dating girls are flamboyant teases. The Rabid One has many times ascended the mountain of first date “home runs,” but it’s certainly not guaranteed. Things getting a little bit heated though would be a lovely consultation. A year or two ago I was shoved away during some heavy petting for attempting to take second base. It was like the 3rd base coach was giving me the signal to keep running and the opposing team had two short stops.

“I don’t want to rush things,"she protested. "That’s relationship territory.”

Fair enough, but since you’ve made it clear that this shares the same rules as a relationship, I cry foul.

“But trust me,"she teased. "I really, really want to. You have no idea.”

Do NOT Google “Rabid Nick’s Blue Balls,” for serious.

So that’s as far as I need to go. The only differences between being in a relationship and casual dating is that dating makes things far more complicated without the sexual payoff. Now instead of moving in together we stay separate while still basically playing house. I appreciate the attempt, or the sales pitch of

Hey, this is totally different, and fantastically better,”

but a duck with a Darth Vader mask is still just a duck.

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for more posts and assorted shenanigans.

Feel free to show him he's wrong, while on a date...

Somehow the Rabid One is always either totally single, or quickly  rushed into a relationship—-the kind of relationship where you move in together way too fast. I’ve never really been tempted by the dating demon. However, last week I received quite a shock when I dove head first into the shallow puddle that is the casual dating pool.

Now I know what you're thinking. “Rabid Nick, dating is just the easier, cuter, free spirited younger cousin of a committed relationship.”

Balderdash! The terms “simple” and “dating” don't belong in the same sentence. From my recent experience, these seem to be the twisted rules of the dating scene:


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