THERE'S AN UPSIDE TO EVERYTHING
NEW GUN BILL PASSES
"Rally 'round the family, with a pocket full of shells."
THE RING TWO
Sequels never measure up, but this makes The Legend of Curly's Gold look like Citizen Kane.
BRITNEY AND KEVIN's REALITY SHOW
Having already provided an upside to deafness, she moves onto blindness.
TERRI, THE POPE, FRANK PERDUE, JOHNNIE COCHRAN…
Everybody out of the Dead Pool!
SHORTER, SLIMMER MARLBORO CIGARETTES
Zippy smokes for the break-time challenged.
THE SONY PSP
Dominating the pages of TBT in, oh, about five years.
ASHTON KUTCHER'S POWER TO BEND TIME TO HIS WILL
His 15 minutes have been ticking since 1999.
THE KFC/TACO BELL/PIZZA HUT ON EAST KENNEDY
Who do I have to fellate to get some freakin' salad dressing?
PROPOSED BILL PROTECTS RIGHT WING COLLEGE STUDENTS
Young neo-cons say bill will give them a "dickhead mandate."
MEL MARTINEZ'S MEMO-GATE
And to top it all off, the dog ate his homework.
MATT HALE GOES DOWN
Wonder which prison gang he's going to join…
-Compiled by Planet Staff
This article appears in Apr 13-19, 2005.