Do you know how many Americans call in sick the day after Columbus Day, hung over and sore from pillaging and land-stealing? Almost none. Is that progress? Well, let me ask you this: Do we still have a Columbus Day?
After the Democratic Party sued in the wake of Hurricane Matthew’s disruption of so many lives, the deadline to register to vote in Florida has been extended exactly one day, until 5 p.m. tomorrow, Wed., Oct. 12. Governor Scott opposed the extension, naturally, despite the fact that the storm has screwed up the day-to-day status quo of many Floridians for more than a week now, and he himself “unambiguously ordered” many residents to evacuate their communities. Also, trying literally anything that might limit voter turnout is just something wealthy conservative politicians do as a matter of course. Why do you think that is?
A report on a summer-long sting says Largo police busted 20 establishments for selling alcohol to minors. The article includes a handy list, and pretty much everything else a 19-year-old needs except an explicit warning to not be a dumbshit and maybe wait a couple of weeks before giving it a shot.
Personal finance website Wallethub.com says Tampa is 2016’s 4th best city for foodies. St. Pete came in 48th on their list, and Orlando ranked Number 1. The weighted criteria numbers are kind of screwy until you realize that Tampa’s coming in at #1 for craft breweries and wineries per capita is what landed it so high on the list — because liking an IPA is the same as laying awake in bed four nights straight wondering how they got that octopus so tender, apparently.
And finally, Goodwill-Suncoast sent us a press release yesterday letting us know the nonprofit has pulled all clown costumes from its 18 thrift stores, in the name of public safety. You’ve won this round, Mostly Imaginary Army Of Evil Clowns Bolstered By The Real-Life Actions Of A Very Small Handful Of Morons.
This article appears in Oct 6-13, 2016.
