Quickly now:
Drunk, driving a golf cart on the sidewalk, getting kicked out of a Clearwater restaurant and trying to strangle a bystander is no way to see your local political ambitions realized, sir.
When your editor said "come up with some good seasonal stories that combine national topics with a local trend," they probably didn't mean "scare the shit out of every parent in the area."
So, just "Scouts," then.
Wes Giuliano gets off on threatening Muslim women online. He probably thinks he's funny, too. Editorial: Wes Giuliano is not funny, and is an asshole. Let's make him famous for being an unfunny asshole. Let's make sure every person in Tampa Bay who supports freedom and equality knows his name.
And finally, Arby's is going to be selling a venison steak sandwich nationwide for one day. Oh deer.
This article appears in Oct 12-19, 2017.