Welcome to Tuesday’s rundown of Monday’s madness.

The Pinellas County Sheriff fired a deputy for allegedly getting a bit too personal off the clock with a stripper he arrested once — like, allegedly paying-the-woman-and-a-friend-for-their-time-while-his-preteen-daughter-was-asleep-in-the-house personal. The deputy has given conflicting responses to the allegations, but we went with linking the Times story for the impressive “12 shots of tequila” detail; everybody’s got a tequila story, but “I drank 12 shots of tequila and got fired for paying a stripper I arrested to come over with a friend” is… well, that’s something really special.

Speaking of first responders and bad decisions, remember that couple who crashed a motorcycle in New Port Richey Sunday night? Turns out the guy was Port Richey’s fire chief, and he and his wife were both arrested after she allegedly physically disrupted attempts to take his blood at the hospital as part of a DUI investigation and he allegedly struck an officer. No tequila shot-count was recorded, unfortunately.

Speaking of iffy relationships with alcohol, remember earlier this month when Clearwater’s redevelopment director took himself a little joyride in a city golf cart, got thrown out of a restaurant and confronted a citizen who was recording the whole embarrassing incident? He’s getting a severance package, reportedly in exchange for resigning instead of getting canned (which might open the city up to legal action), and despite the fact that the city manager says his employment contract states he’s not entitled to anything. Show up hammered for your shift at Subway and see how that works out for you.

And finally, a lawyer for a guy convicted in the Bay area of enabling $10 million in tax fraud is protesting his client’s sentence, claiming the prison time doesn’t jibe with the guy’s shortened life expectancy due to his obesity. So basically, he’s… too big to jail.

This article appears in Oct 12-19, 2017.