Friday came, and they rejoiced. Then one said, "Why do we rejoice in this most brief of respites from the dreariness of workaday drudgery? Should we not recognize this for what it is, false hope in the face of an endless cycle of monotony, made all the more torturous by the promise of release dangled just beyond our grasp?" So they stripped that one naked and chased that one into the woods, and then they went to have a drink.
Tampa police released video of a "person of interest" seen near and running away from the scene of one of the Seminole Heights shootings, and asked the community to identify said person. The subject in the video is notable for looking exactly like every vague, grainy, unidentifiable figure in every washed-out outdoor security video ever, so, you know, no problem.
Joe Biden, former vice president of these United States and an extremely popular political figure among progressives and people who like to make internet memes, endorsed incumbent Mayor Rick Kriseman in St. Pete's impending election. Can you totally see RK riding shotgun in that sweet-ass '67 'Vette? We can totally see that.
It wasn't all muscle cars and White House-sized high-fives for Kriseman yesterday, though — State Attorney Bernie McCabe said he might consider filing charges after reviewing a report that lays much of the blame for St. Pete's sewage dumps on Kriseman's administration and recommends that multiple charges be filed. I'm not saying the timing on this — less than two weeks out from the mayoral election — is suspect; I'm just saying that, America's current political climate being what it is, the first thing I did was wonder, what's McCabe's party affiliation again?
A 16-year-old in Pinellas Park was arrested and charged with shooting and killing a homeless man who tried to steal the money the teen had given him to buy the teen beer. Please, firearm enthusiasts, let me know how a good guy with a gun could've prevented this one.
And finally, are you ready for some good news? We're assuming you're ready for some good news: Brady, the dog that bolted from the tarmac at Tampa International on October 11, has been found! She showed up in one of the traps set around the airport property, and she needs some TLC from the vet, but she's back. Carry that with you today in case shit gets rough.
This article appears in Oct 26 – Nov 2, 2017.