Welcome to Thursday, the temporal equivalent of having to live in a three-walled shack across the street from your dream house.
Florida foreclosures went up more than 12.5% in October, the highest monthly jump in the nation since August 2011. Wait, there were still Florida houses that weren’t in foreclosure? What’s that? Oh, right … again. In foreclosure again.
A 19-year-old from the Florida Panhandle has been sentenced to 12 years in prison for kicking a man in the face in a fight in 2014; the man died from his injuries, but it was deemed unclear whether or not the teen kicking the man “like a football” while he was already on the ground directly caused the man’s death. There are no casual fistfights anymore, guys, just ER trips and attempted murder charges, so let’s cut that shit out, all right?
And finally, underwhelmingly mediocre cable and internet provider Bright House announced that subscribers to its Lightning packages will be seeing a bump in their internet speeds without any extra charge. No word yet on whether or not those who subscribe to the basic package will ever actually get the speeds Bright House advertises for more than, like, half an hour in the middle of the night…
(Image by respres via Wikimedia Commons in accordance with Creative Commons licensing.)
This article appears in Nov 12-18, 2015.
