Yesterday wasn’t exactly a win for peace on earth and goodwill toward men, internationally speaking. And on the national front, a fearmongering tantrum dervish was duly elected our next president. But there’s better, more positive, more inspiring local news to celebrate, right? Oh, sweetie — this must be your first visit.
You know that guy who hit two pedestrians in Dunedin on Sunday and left the scene? He’s a middle school teacher — well, until being suspended — and he was playing Pokemon Go at the time. There’s so much wrong with this scenario I don’t even want to touch it; it feels like a trap.
Why would anybody steal this Brandon family’s animated laser holiday lights? The staggering monetary gain? Having been born into and unable to escape from a life as a member of The Christmas Decoration Mafia? Hug deprivation? We’re going with “some people are just massive goblin’s taints.”
There’s no justification for stealing. We should live in a world where you can leave your truck unlocked and not have a briefcase full of $30,000 stolen out of it. But we don’t live in that world. We live in the other one, the one in which leaving $30K in an unlocked vehicle, even for just a moment, seems like an unbelievably, um, naive thing to do.
OK, fine, we’ll finish up with something nice and heartwarming. A bunch of students in San Antonio noticed that one of their classmates was wearing worn-out shoes 2 sizes too small, and took up a collection and surprised him with two brand new pairs. What? No — San Antonio, Texas. That’s how far we had to go for a little good news this morning.
This article appears in Dec 15-22, 2016.
