It is the Friday before Christmas, the final day for you to sneak away on your lunch break for last-minute gifts for all the important people in your sphere who live in this region (don’t bother with mailing anything; that ship sailed). You won’t want to head to the stores Saturday, trust me. The crowds. The horror. Plus, this is Florida, so more than a few among the hordes of distressed shoppers will be carrying a gun.
Also, don’t forget to lock your doors. There are some real scumbags out there.
Speaking of scumbags: sure, this country faces polarization of pre-Civil War-esque proportions, but when we can, I say we come together and focus on those things on which we agree. For example: stealing an American flag from a veteran a few days before Christmas is objectively shitty, no?
Also objectively shitty (for those who like to watch a local pro football team win, anyway): Apparently due to financial issues, popular AFL team Tampa Bay Storm is no mas.
And finally, when looking for a massage, you might want to do some serious vetting.
This article appears in Dec 21-28, 2017.
