Well, here's the final Sh*t Happened of 2016. It's been really fun sitting on the porch with you all, drinking whiskey and chronicling humanity's leisurely downfall. Thanks for reading, and we'll see you next year.
A fatal wrong-way crash toward the Manatee end of the Sunshine Skyway overnight had southbound lanes closed until this morning. Asking why this is becoming such an epidemic has grown tiresome; drive for any length of time on any major Bay area thoroughfare, and you know. And sadly, if you had to put money on whether or not this is the last one we'll see before the year ends, you wouldn't have to think too hard about that, either.
The story broke yesterday about a Wednesday incident in which a 19-year-old and 16-year-old robbed a Hillsborough lemonade stand run by a pair of 9-year-olds. Yup — two angry, bullying cretins tried to make $13 and an iPod by terrorizing a couple of children. When the neighborhood found out, however, they swamped the stand with business, so don't go mixing that Drano-and-razor blade cocktail for yourself just yet.
And finally, Pasco cops are looking for a couple of guys who broke into a VFW hall and American Legion post in Holiday, cutting through the roofs of the buildings and making off with safes. Stealing from kids who sell lemonade for a dollar; stealing from aging veterans who sell drinks at two bucks apiece. Bay area thieves keep it classy with the big scores.
Have a safe and happy New Year's Eve, everyone.
This article appears in Dec 29, 2016 – Jan 5, 2017.