Whoa.
FRIDAY, DEC. 2:
The Florida Department of Environment Protection handed St. Pete an ultimatum: Fix your wastewater infrastructure toot-sweet, or pay the piper, to the tune of nearly $1 million in fines so far for dumping partially treated sewage into Tampa Bay. Also, nearly no tourists ever positively Yelp soaking in poopwater.
A Tampa man was Baker Acted after setting fire to his apartment and threatening firefighters. So, it was a Friday in December, then.
St. Pete cops who responded to a call about a hand grenade found on the beach determined that the object was just a kid's toy. Perhaps more intriguing: Link goes to a story that includes the address of a vacant house with a private beach. Just sayin'.
SATURDAY, DEC. 3:
The state of Florida terminated its contract with St. Pete's Happy Workers Daycare over a number of violations, including missing paperwork and lack of information about background checks on employees. Yes, we live in a world where daycare centers that contact with the government are still sorta "whatever" about the people they make responsible for children. Accountability! Not really a thing anymore.
A woman who worked for a doctor in Holiday (insert Tombstone joke here) was arrested and charged with forging nearly 60 prescriptions. She was doing it for money, not pills, which automatically makes her one of Pasco's top five criminal masterminds.
SUNDAY, DEC. 4:
Hatchimals! They're this year's Beanie Babies. If you are old enough to remember Beanie Babies, please refrain from initiating conversations about music with young adults in social situations.
And finally, a Boynton Beach idiot local cops are calling "the Grinch" was arrested for robbing a restaurant and carjacking just hours after being arrested for trying to steal packages from a post office. See, the real problem with complete morons is that they create a sliding scale.
This article appears in Dec 1-8, 2016.