What does Tuesday have that Monday hasn't got? A nicely receding view of Monday, for one thing.

The New York Times picked up this story yesterday about a Mexico Beach stepfather who was arrested after allegedly drawing a graphic scene from a school shooting on a fourth-grader's homework assignment. Oh, Florida Man. Your sense of humor is every bit as well-developed as your eye for fashion, your silver tongue and your ability to correctly decide which animals to wrestle after 16 Coors Lights. (h/t Rob Osenton.)

Citizens of Brooksville are concerned that the city might do away with its police department in an effort to lower its budget, while the city council stresses that no decision has been made and that several options for cutting costs are being examined. Could this be the first-ever case of a civic management group and the people it's supposed to manage only hearing the first four words of one another's ideas, wildly misinterpreting it and shouting in a panic over everything else that needed to be said? No, no it couldn't.

A Pasco County high school was temporarily placed on "alert status" yesterday after somebody defaced one of its bathrooms with "threatening graffiti." The exact nature of the graffiti was not released, but we're gonna have to guess it was probably a bit more Islamophobic than, say, suggesting that Denise really likes to go all the way.

And finally, the state's python elimination program has a new record, as python hunters recently captured a 17-foot, 132-pound serpent in Big Cypress National Preserve — the biggest yet. Just for context, that's like 200 regular in-your-yard snakes. I suggest setting up your campsite a bit further north, perhaps in Georgia. Or Maine.

This article appears in Nov 30 – Dec 7, 2017.