But every once in a while you step on the wrong one. Perhaps the television mounted above is sporting an erectile dysfunction pill commercial or something during your warmup, so you're unaware of what channel is on. You sprint, jog. Sprint, jog. Try not to look up.
Suddenly, the Fox News logo flashes on the television. You're stuck with 20 minutes of Ted Cruz on closed captioning, performing mental gymnastics on guns and mental health and everything else.
The same anxiety you came here to crush immediately spikes.
But you can power through this. The more you run, the less Ted Cruz-like your headspace will become.
Anyway, it's Friday; tomorrow, you will have time to run on the beach, which is the opposite of Ted Cruz.
Also not like Ted Cruz? David Jolly, a Republican who acknowledged Thursday that the only way to prevent more mass shootings these days is to elect not-Republicans.
And potentially getting there, surprisingly, are Rick Scott and the Florida legislature — their logical prowess is such that all it takes for them to conclude that perhaps they ought to keep guns out of the hands of mentally disturbed individuals was yet another mass shooting. It's called sensibility, a trait that a certain Republican U.S. Senator from Texas clearly does not possess.
Yeah, we know we give Ted Cruz a hard time around here, but, hey, at least he doesn't phone in fake threats to schools the day after a deadly school shooting in Florida…as far as we know.
This article appears in Feb 15-22, 2018.