Now where were we? Oh, yes — chronicling the downfall.
The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission released the numbers from its annual manatee count, and for the third straight year more than 6,000 of the marine mammals were counted. So obviously it's time to start eating them again.
Hey, who owns the most anti-Trump web domains? Donald Trump owns the most anti-Trump web domains. Among the more than 3,600 (!) domains registered to his organization, many were bought preemptively so the president's many, many haters couldn't get 'em — like DonaldTrumpSucks.com, TrumpFraud.org and NoMoreTrump.com. But sadly, you can't remember to get 'em all, and some obvious ones always slip by.
Tampa-based Bloomin' Brands, the restaurant group behind chains like Outback Steakhouse, Bonefish Grill and Carrabba's, will close 43 restaurants around the nation. The group does say, though, that it plans to open around 50 new restaurants, and in a crazy new twist on its business plan, might place the new restaurants more than a block away from another existing Bloomin' Brands restaurant.
And finally, Hillsborough authorities are on the lookout for a man who robbed a Riverview gas station last night with a shotgun while wearing a bear mask. If he was trying to make the clerk think he was an actual bear, well, that's a fail, because everybody knows that bears prefer to carry .22-caliber Beretta pistols, just like the Israeli secret service.
This article appears in Feb 16-23, 2017.