Welcome to America, where we like to keep our kids sheltered and stupid, so that later we can blame their stupidity on them rather than us, and make sure they're too busy avoiding the shiv to overcome their own stupidity while repaying society for the stupidity of the actions we never thought to teach them to avoid. And it must work, because somebody's making money off that shit, or we'd find something different, right?

So high school students in Zephyrhills with a GPA below 2.0 will heretofore be escorted to the bathroom when they leave class, so they don't do dumbass things like tag lockers or rob a bodega or just forget to breathe and die of dumbass-ness, or something. I suppose that's easier than actually giving them something that makes them not want to do dumbass things, like inspiring them or engaging their imaginations or whatever. May I be excused?

Speaking of higher education, a Clearwater teacher accused of killing her ex-husband reportedly alluded to doing so in phone conversations directly after the crime took place. If we're to lead our children out of the darkness of ignorance into enlightenment, shouldn't we entrust their education to people smart enough to not admit to heinous crimes right after committing them? Food for thought.

And finally, in Hudson, a 13-year-old boy shot and killed his 6-year-old brother, then killed himself, over what seems to be an everyday argument about who should do what when. Let's be clear about it: This is your fault. This is my fault. We as a culture are at fault here. There are no excuses. So what if their parents were gun-toting idiots? We allowed their parents to become gun-toting idiots, for freedom. Through poor education, and worse follow-up. Are you OK with this? I don't care if I'm excused; I'm leaving.

(Image via wikimedia commons.)

This article appears in Mar 19-25, 2015.