Monday was weird. And saying something was weirder than usual in Florida is kind of like saying that ghost-pepper-and-verde-chili sauce was a little spicy. Guard your taste buds this Taco Tuesday, my friends.
A 67-year-old Kenneth City veteran faces prison after admitting he lied about the severity of an eye injury in order to collect government benefits — basically, the guy faked being blind. Protip: If you’re gonna fake blindness for profit, it’s perhaps best not to publicly engage in acts that require decent vision, like taking a job sorting and delivering mail, or driving a motorcycle. (Yep, and yeah, he did.)
Authorities spent yesterday looking for a female inmate who escaped from a detention facility — no, walked away from work release at the Goodwill on Gandy Boulevard in St. Pete. Those are not the same thing; one is a high-wire act of malevolent brilliance, and the other is leaving a Goodwill on Gandy.
And finally, a man was Baker Acted following irrational activity at a Clearwater hotel and a standoff that forced the closure of southbound U.S. 19 lanes. A perfectly sane response to an insane world? He didn’t hurt the dog he had with him, so there’s that.
This article appears in Mar 24-30, 2016.
