I think we can all agree that the greatest thing about Monday, just like The Fast & The Furious, is that it ends. And the worst thing about Monday is, also like The Fast & The Furious, somebody just keeps churning out fucking sequels. Yesterday was, like, the 13th Monday just this year! Enough already.

Speaking of driving dangerously, Tampa weekday commuters got their first experience with southbound I-275's new lanes between downtown and 60. Granted, it's tough to appreciate the full impact of the difference in quality at a steady 4 miles per hour…

The St. Pete City Council is taking a pass on even getting into Mayor Rick Kriseman's new deal to let the Rays look for a home across the bay, reportedly because they're sure they won't agree to it in its current form. It's almost as if *giggle* these guys *snicker* just can't win! *guffaw*

In a non-sudden turn of events that will of course be surprising to no one, an analysis of potential dock sites for the proposed ferry from South Hillsborough to MacDill reveals that the optimal sites are also the ones most harmful to the natural environment. But you know the saying — if you wanna make a money omelet, you gotta break a few hundred thousand years of evolution.

And finally, a bill in the state legislature that would force women seeking abortions to accept a 24-hour waiting period and make at least two trips to a clinic before the procedure has a decent chance of becoming Florida law. Ladies, just think of it as a scavenger hunt in which the prize is drawing out one of the most difficult and painful decisions you could possibly make in your lives at the whims of a few superstitious assholes who'll never have to make it themselves, even though it's totally legal.

This article appears in Mar 26 – Apr 1, 2015.