We live in some seriously exciting times. This news roundup isn’t about that, of course, but still. Super, super-exciting times.
Well, the Pittsburgh Penguins — which is either a cute name or a lame one, depending on your outlook, and in neither case particularly intimidating — evened up the Eastern Conference finals by beating the Lightning 3-2. Bishop didn’t play. Neither did some of the Bolts who were actually on the ice. Zing! Nah, it was a tight game, the win happened in OT.
Busch Gardens’ roller coaster Sheikra resumed thrilling/nauseating operation, four days after the ride stalled and 64 people were stuck on its big hill for a couple of hours. You know, PR has come a long way, but they still haven’t figured out how to sell being stuck on a broken-down roller coaster for two hours as “a unique and memorable extended single-attraction experience.” I just did. Give me money.
Possible daytime sarcophagus dweller Rick Scott was at the Clearwater Marine Aquarium to publicly pat himself on the back over record-breaking first-quarter tourism numbers for the state. No one who serves frozen Rum Runners for less than minimum wage was invited to leave the cozy confines of her exurban studio apartment and personally join the celebration, ostensibly because it was understood she needed that gas money to get back out to The Sloppy Shark for her next shift.
And finally, ongoing performance art project Sinead O’Connor went missing in Chicago, but was found OK. Yeah, right. Have you read her Facebook page? She is most certainly not OK.
This article appears in May 12-19, 2016.
