It's Monday. Nothing matters. Life is little more than a futile trudge away from the ever-encroaching void.

FRIDAY, APRIL 29:

Uniformed asshole Akinyemi Borisade was fired from the Jacksonville police force and arrested and charged with battery after video surfaced showing him striking a handcuffed woman. (Striking, in this case, being code for "beating the shit out of.") "What about the three other cops in the video who stood there and watched it happen?", you might ask yourself. What, indeed?

The Trib gave Sugah some love.

The cops busted Nino Breeze. "Nino Breeze" is a terrible drug dealer name.

SATURDAY, APRIL 30:

The Lightning rallied after a series-opening loss to beat the Islanders 4-1. Nice hockeying, there.

SUNDAY, MAY 1:

And finally, the elephants of Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus performed for the last time on Sunday. Some idiot is sad that her daughter will never again see intelligent animals being humiliated for her amusement.

This article appears in Apr 28 – May 4, 2016.