Good morning! How was your weekend?

FRIDAY, MAY 4:

A Pinellas County deputy working at the county jail was fired after it was discovered he just didn't to his job duty of proper inmate counts — for more than two months. When asked why he didn't do his job, the former deputy, who'd been disciplined twice before for slacking on the job, reportedly said, "I'm gonna go with complacency and just being lazy." Dude probably thinks "hey, at least I was honest about it when I got caught" is gonna soar at his next job interview.

Hey, if you and your friend stole purses and wallets from businesses in Tampa and were both complete nitwits, what would you use the credit cards on? If you said "15 single-day tickets to SeaWorld Orlando," you either already read that news story or are totally psychic, because WHO WOULD DO THAT?

SATURDAY, MAY 5:

Authorities wonder if an Old Northeast fire in which a man died was caused by a vape pen exploding in the man's face. Remember the good old days, when smoking had the decency to kill you slowly over a number of years?

Hundreds of pro-Second Amendment protestors joined a rally and march at Sarasota's Bayfront Park. The event was reportedly a peaceful one; none of the protestors showed up conspicuously loaded, and no one went off half-cocked. *holds up hand for high-five, is resoundingly left hanging*

SUNDAY, MAY 6:

And finally, The Tampa Bay Lightning beat the Boston Bruins 3-1 to win their series and advance to the Eastern Conference finals. As if you didn't know. My dog knew, and my dog's one of those uppity dogs that prefers books to TV.