Tuesday: Appearing better than it is just by showing up after Monday since — crap, I dunno, the birth of the Gregorian calendar or whatever.(tm)
Speaking of pecking orders: while Florida Governor (and possible Emissary of Reploid Doom) Rick Scott will be speaking at the Republican National Convention, he was assigned a less-than-glamorous slot on Wednesday’s schedule, before televised coverage of the festivities begins. (His own AG Pam Bondi is above him on the bill.) “Ya gotta spread the real evil throughout the event rather than heaping it on at the end — you want the crowd to really marinate in it all day long,” said a Reploid. Makes sense.
Holes! They open up around here all the time, for no reason and with no warning, just to keep things interesting. This one came out of nowhere to try to eat a house, not far from where a 2014 sinkhole swallowed a car. We’re not exactly why they’re calling it a hole instead of a sinkhole — possibly it’s because nothing has sunk into it yet. Unfortunately something probably will. Holes! Watch out for them.
The $35 million renovation of Tampa’s Julian B. Lane Riverfront Park broke ground yesterday. “That’s an awful lot of money to spend on something not a lot of white people use,” some white people said without saying.
And finally, two St. Petersburg ducks nursed back to health after being shot with a pellet gun were released back into their lake. Neighbors are on the lookout for the abusers, and totally promise not to pepper them with BBs while laughing at their pain and deriving savage amusement from the entire endeavor.
This article appears in Jul 14-21, 2016.
