Try not to scare away the dry, OK?
The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission began issuing permits to hunt black bears for the first time in more than two decades. Cecil’s ghost is outraged at your lack of outrage.
Florida governor and presumed Paranormal Encounters extra Rock Scott announced that Amazon would be adding 2,000 jobs to the local economy through its distribution centers in Lakeland and Ruskin. Scott failed to mention that many people who have worked at the online giant’s “fulfillment centers” liken the experience to a combination of Walmart and Death Race 2000.
A Pinellas County prisoner who escaped from an outdoor work detail in Largo was shortly recaptured without incident. New Largo motto: “Even our prison breaks are just kind of, you know, whatever.”
And finally, Republicans in the U.S. House of Representatives say they have the votes to block President Obama’s controversial Iran nuclear deal. My pops, other Cold War dads stoked.
This article appears in Jul 30 – Aug 5, 2015.
