Good morning, and happy Epiphany day! There are a whole bunch of Greek Orthodox kids up in Tarpon Springs right now who aren’t exactly thrilled that the cooler air settled in overnight. Let’s wish them luck from beneath our goose-down comforters and hot-water-spewing shower heads.
St. Pete Mayor Rick Kriseman formally announced his re-election bid yesterday. ‘Burg residents who… nah. You know what? This doesn’t warrant sarcasm. I bust his chops in the name of being an equal-opportunity chops-buster, but as a member of the community, I think his first term has been a positive one overall for our city, and I’m glad to see he’s officially game for another.
There was a bit more detail on that story about a man who was arrested Wednesday at a Riverview Publix for video voyeurism — turns out a female plainclothes detective saw him duck into the ladies’ room, followed him in and caught him in the act of trying to record her with his phone from the next stall. Still not clear: whether or not he thought himself, his arm and his phone to be invisible.
From the Derf Files: A new study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association links Florida’s “Stand Your Ground” law to an uptick in homicides and gun deaths. Because everybody who, deep down, really wants to kill somebody thinks that deep down, everybody really wants to kill somebody. Does that make sense? It makes about as much sense as Stand Your Ground, anyway.
And finally, the Riverview family that had Christmas toys stolen out of their yard Wednesday got the items back yesterday after the man who took them saw himself on video all over Facebook and the news, and called the cops claiming it was a misunderstanding. The man said he was out looking for toys to donate to others and didn’t know he was stealing by taking the items from the sidewalk in front of the house or something, which, oh my god are you fucking kidding me? C’mon — that’s up there with claiming you didn’t know how the crack that’s not yours got taped behind your testicles like that.
This article appears in Jan 5-12, 2017.
