Dick's Up All Night
Ageless Clark returns to New Year's Eve broadcast; co-hosts with Dick-in-training Ryan Seacrest.
Bong Vodka
Overpriced hooch in a bottle shaped like paraphernalia but not usable as such. Genius!
Chronic(what?)-cles of Narnia
Samberg-Parnell's nerdirific rap is the first funny SNL bit since Cow Bell.
Gov. Jeb Admits Belief in Evolution
"Christ, if you don't think we're descended from apes, just look at my brother."
The Idler Book of Crap Jobs: 100 Tales of Workplace Hell
Journalist is #95. Editorial Assistant is #16. Sorry Ms. Arsenault…
Red Criss-Cross
49 relief agency workers embezzle $200,000 in hurricane funds so they can "trick out their FEMA double-wides."
RIP Mr. Vargas and Dunkin Donuts Man
Character actors Vincent Schiavelli and Michael Vale just slide under the "Deaths in 2005" wire.
Spielberg Remaking Mary Poppins?
Spoiler: Van Dyke wipes out the aliens with that chimney-sweep broomy thing.
A Farki Holiday Greeting
Paid-for political ad/card from the family of candidate Frankly Farkas arrives post-Christmas; no mention of Sparkle Farkle.
St. Pete leads Florida in Hate Crimes
At least it took the media spotlight off the high murder rate.
Ocean Jewel on the Auction Block
The thought of all those little old ladies at home on bar stools, hunched over with nothing to pump quarters into is … well, heartbreaking.
Compiled by Weekly Planet staff
This article appears in Jan 4-10, 2006.
