The first leg of the St. Pete mayoral race is in its home stretch, and, like its counterparts at the state and national levels, it’s a partisan jumble of twisted half-truths and conflicting narratives. On Tuesday, the two big-money candidates, Mayor Rick Kriseman and former mayor Rick Baker, will have a prime-time go at one another at the Palladium and on your TV courtesy of Bay News 9, the Tampa Bay Times and the St. Petersburg College Institute for Policy Solutions.* This time around, the Ricks won’t have the other candidates calling them both out, and since it’s invite-only, most interruptions should come from the candidates themselves.
For those of you who’ll be watching closely from home or perhaps your favorite bar, we present Mayoral Debate Bingo, a game to help you follow how many times the candidates spout their favorite talking points, dodge their least favorite questions and commit easily avoidable gaffes. Check out p. 10 for a breakdown of the references — and if you’re not a Bingo fan, the card does double-duty as a drinking game. (Explainers for each of the squares below.) You can grab a downloadable PDF here.
Mayoral Bingo cheat sheet
If you’ve been following this year’s mayoral race, you practically know enough about St. Petersburg’s wastewater infrastructure to run a water treatment plant. You are well-versed in the finer points of the years-long agreement with the Tampa Bay Rays to play at the Trop. And you and loved ones have engaged in nuanced discourse about whether the Tampa Bay Times ought to let the race’s lesser-monied candidates onto the stage.
But the unfolding of this election has its b-sides, too.
And your Bingo card is loaded with ‘em.
As part of our preview of Tuesday’s quickly approaching Battle of The Ricks at the Palladium, let’s take a look at what’s on the card, shall we?
Kriseman trashes Baker re: climate change denial OK, not denial per se, but the not-acknowledging that shitty human behavior has had a role.
Baker sounds like he’s running for school board He likes to speak at length about his efforts to improve education in the city, but how about not aligning with state lawmakers who are gutting public education?
Kriseman’s voice gets raspy Campaigning can unleash hell on one’s immune system. Get that dude some water!
Baker over-explains homeless tent-slashing It was an act of compassion, that’s it. Sure.
Sarah Palin Reaching waaay back to Baker’s praise of the VP candidate just for a partisan mic drop? Really?
Either Rick dodges a question about gentrification Honestly, guys, the businesses that made the 600 Block cool wanted to move to other blocks.
Barack Obama Kriseman may be inclined to remind progressive viewers how he supported #44, and how his opponent very much did not, as a symbol of where they stand on the issues. Possible tactical error regarding those 9 undecided voters.
Kriseman shifts blame to Baker re: sewage Because politics in 2017 is less about nuanced discourse than it is about the colliding of fantasy worlds.
Uhurus bust in and cause another ruckus Let’s hope it’s during one of the boring questions.
“Seamless” Baker insists on comparing the city to comfortable underwear elastic.
Kriseman touts forward motion on the Rays Loses points; people are really starting to miss the feverish news coverage every time Stu Sternberg sneezed.
Curbside Recycling A no-brainer for Kriseman to tout. He should ask Baker if Baker uses the bin.
Goliath Davis Former police chief under Baker, huge Baker ally and lender of South Side cred.
Baker dodges question re: The Gays Because apparently not everyone is on the same (Bible) page.
“The sun shines on all” The incumbent mayor’s adorable catchphrase — sip your drink if there’s a torrential downpour outside the Palladium.
Moderator gives excuse for exluding other candidates — “When we started planning this, we decided to only invite candidates whose names rhyme with 'stick.'”
Baker trashes Kriseman re: sewage Because one human being is singlehandedly capable of breaking an entire layer of essential infrastructure.
Donald Trump We still don’t know if Baker voted for the guy and he won’t say for obvious reasons. Spoiler: he won’t tell us on Tuesday.
Either Rick deflects South Side poverty Look over here! New buildings!
Walmart Because all economic development starts with a cold, faceless corporate chain that doesn’t care about you.
Kriseman over-explains wastewater infrastructure Baker wants the blame for the sewage crisis to fall exclusively on Kriseman’s shoulders. Kriseman needs you to know it’s a tad more complicated, but that gets snoozy pretty quick.
Baker loudly clears his throat Gotta show ‘em who’s boss.
“I’ll answer that question, but first…" The audience collectively rolls its eyes when they do this. (In some circles, it’s an occasion to take a swig of your drink.)
Baker trashes Kriseman re: the Pier Ahh, the Pier debate: the unofficial launch of Baker’s campaign.
*St. Petersburg College has dropped its co-sponsorship of the event over the Times' and Bay News 9's decision to limit public access to the event, SaintPetersBlog reported last week.
This article appears in Jul 20-27, 2017.