Check out this hilarious clip from the Colbert Report where Stephen sticks it to environmentalists who are against 3-ply toilet paper. It highlights the environmentalists main arguments, such as comparing what quilted toilet paper is to the paper industry what a Hummer is to the car industry.
According to Colbert, the "best, fluffiest toilet paper is made from old wood," (meaning it's made from trees that are decades or even centuries old) and environmentalists are taking action against the production of this commodity.
Colbert threatens to start wiping with a spotted owl if the environmentalists take away his precious plush toilet paper.
See the video after the jump.
This article appears in Sep 30 – Oct 7, 2009.