You are a Tampa Bay resident with no clue about where to vacation this summer.
You think the whole idea of a STAYcation lands somewhere between marketing ploy and pathetic rationalization.
However, you really don't expect to have the time or money for a CATION, so it's a pretty safe bet you're going to STAY right here.
Then you start reading the latest issue of Creative Loafing — its annual Summer Guide, the one you're looking at right now, freaky, huh? — and you're suddenly faced with, omigod, options.
The friendly folks at CL have laid out a whole slew of possibilities for vacations worth sticking around for.
You're a rabid fan of our much-discussed but under-attended baseball team? Take a RAYcation.
You're one of those overworked, office-bound paleface Floridians who almost never set foot on a beach, even though the beach is the primary reason our roadways are clogged with Midwestern tourists and half the population of Canada? You, my friend, need a BRAINcation.
You want an all-over tan before you hit the beach? Try a NAkation.
How about a blissful weekend awash in your favorite beverages? LIBATIONcation!
Or a blissful weekend where there's nothing to do but listen to your favorite music? A Tropical Heatwave PLAYcation is right around the corner.
We've assembled a wealth of weekends for you to choose from, whether you're a culture vulture (BAYcation) or a spiritual seeker (PRAYcation), forever young (SPRING BREAKcation) or forever poor (LOW-COSTcation).
And, in keeping with the Choose Your Own Adventure-inspired theme of this year's issue, we've included alternate recommendations at every turn — just in case a weekend at Dinosaur World (FAKEcation) or a trip to Key West (KEYcation) isn't to your taste.
Plus, you'll find extended listings of attractions, beaches and A&E happenings to keep you in vacation mode all summer long.
Many thanks to CL staff for their excursionary brilliance, and especially to Creative Director Todd Bates and illustrator Danny Hellman for making this a Summer Guide as much fun to look at as it is to read.
As for you, potential vacationer — choose wisely, or better yet, choose fun.
This article appears in May 12-18, 2011.