Swingers: the need for secrecy

was recently outed and subsequently fired for behaving inappropriately in their private lives (see article here).


The couple had placed an ad on Craigslist's "Casual Encounters." After exchanging emails and photos the couple soon found themselves in the spotlight with their employer (they never moved past the email stage and never had sex with them). Subsequently an ugly mess arose and the couple was fired from their jobs at a local theater.


I could go on and on about this travesty.  For most people, their private life does not and should not affect their job. The lesson here is to never give out too much information. This is why swingers generally have a swinger name for public advertising.  After meeting another couple we will share our first names, but normally not much more than that (mistake one by that couple).  We might share the type of work we do, but in general we don't say exactly where we work (mistake two by that couple).


Friday night was my Swingers Speed Dating event (a fabulous time I might add) and in the large group of many couples my husband recognized one woman. She worked with him years ago  at the same company he is still employed with.  While this all may seem innocent you still must always use caution.  Suddenly you're talking about old times and maybe someone overhears or figures out what company you're speaking about.  That person ends up mad because he or she didn't get a chance to meet you, so they write an anonymous email to your boss (this didn't occur).  The point here is that even in a community where you feel you can trust everyone, you should trust no one.


If the world suddenly became accepting of all gays, minorities, transgenders, swingers... I still might not share my lifestyle with everyone.  There will always be one bad apple that spoils the whole bundle.


So next time you are perusing my facebook page and feel compelled to ask, why won't you show your face? Or you accuse me of being fake because you don't get to know my personal life story, go back and read that article about the couple and rethink your wants versus my needs.


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Indiscretions are almost as common to marriage as rings. Even though sex outside of the marital bed is likely more normal than monogamy, it's still viewed as a travesty to marital bonds (even by those doing it).

Swingers practice a sexual lifestyle that many will never comprehend. Although those who likely damn our lifestyle are the same ones sexting their secretaries or planning a rendezvous at this years Christmas party.

With the prejudices and misconceptions about the lifestyle, most swingers choose to keep this part of their lives private.  But the one place we feel safe to share this secret is with other swingers. That's why I was shocked to hear of a couple who

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