CAROLINE KENNEDY ENDORSES OBAMA
"He's my dad, without the accent or the philandering."
TED KENNEDY ENDORSES OBAMA
"He's me, without the drinking or Chappaquiddick."
KENNEDY CRITICIZES CLINTON CAMPAIGN ATTACKS
And if the Kennedys are known for one thing, it is clean, above-board campaigning.
BILL CLINTON HURTS HILLARY'S CHANCES IN SOUTH CAROLINA
Her secret weapon to keep hubby out of future headlines: flying Monica Lewinsky in for remainder of campaign.
HILLARY NOW THINKS FLORIDA SHOULD COUNT
Part of her overarching "only counting the votes for me" strategy.
BILL CLINTON
Shut the fuck up!
INDONESIAN DICTATOR SUHARTO DIES
Looks like Hitler, Pol Pot and Milosevic have a new dinner companion for the late seating in Hell.
SUPER BOWL XLII
27-26 Giants. You heard it here first.
BILL CLINTON, PART 2
No, really. Shut the fuck up!
BRAZIL DOLES OUT MILLIONS OF CONDOMS FOR "CARNIVAL"
There's a whole lotta samba going on.
GASPARILLA SEES 84 ARRESTS
We don't suppose any of those were for extreme lack of civic taste?
FBI INTERROGATOR: SADDAM UNDERESTIMATED BUSH
That's funny, because we overestimated him.
MICHIGAN WOMAN POSTS AD FOR HIT MAN ON CRAIGSLIST
"Professional, deranged female with a taste for blood seeks tough-on-the-outside, soft-on-the-inside gentleman who knows his way around an air gun."
SCARLETT JOHANSSON COVERS TOM WAITS ON DEBUT CD
In a related story, Tom Waits is set to star as a busty young ingenue in Woody Allen's next film.
STARBUCKS TEST-MARKETS $1 CUP OF COFFEE
Here's the catch: You have to buy Scarlett Johansson's CD.
This article appears in Jan 30 – Feb 5, 2008.