SEXIEST LOCAL CHEF
Rand Packer, Roy's Restaurant
Ain't nothing sexier than watching a man cook. Something about the muscular hand gripping the bulging chef knife, the hot flames licking his face, and the fresh, plump ingredients that create the perfect dish. The best cooks glimmer with modesty and move confidently around any kitchen, private or commercial. Igniting this particular voyeuristic fetish are the open kitchens in so many Tampa Bay restaurants. Since women make most food decisions, the smart restaurateurs stock them with hot, young chefs. Roy's found theirs in Rand Packer. Rand has been the executive chef at Roy's Restaurant in Tampa since it opened two years ago, arriving after a long stint of training alongside founder Roy Yamaguchi at the original Roy's in Honolulu. Taste his food and you'll know he passes one drool test, and take one look at his photo and you'll see he passes the other. Rand introduced fish never before heard of in little ol' Tampa. Thanks Rand, for bringing Tampa closer to being a "food town." You can see sexy Rand in action up close and in person most nights at Roy's in the open-air kitchen. Hunker down at the counter and stare like a schoolgirl.
Roy's Restaurant, 4342 W. Boy Scout Blvd., Tampa, 813-873-7697.
BEST PLACE TO TRY THE MOST EXOTIC WINES BY THE GLASS
Mise en Place
Friends might say I'm a fanatic about wine. Yes, I love wine; all shapes, sizes and colors of it. Saddling up to an innovative wine bar makes my heart race, since I'm eager to discover the new and different. My secret garden for hip, unknown wines is Mise en Place. There's a bevy of cool items on its ever-changing wines-by-the-glass list. Owner Mary Ann Ferenc heads up the wine buying at the restaurant, and keeps the variety coming. Uncover Argentinean Malbecs, New Zealand Sauvignon Blancs and Pinot Gris from Oregon. While you're there, graze on Chef Marty's awesome appetizers. Keep it up guys; you're my oasis.
Mise en Place, 442 W. Kennedy Blvd., Tampa, 813-254-5373.
BEST PLATE OF FOOD IF SOMEONE ELSE IS PAYING
Osso Bucco at Café Ponte
Comfort food heals the soul; it caresses our tired, weary tummies; it coats pain, worry and grief. And it certainly tastes even better if someone else foots the bill. Osso Bucco, a traditional, slow-roasted Italian dish made from veal shank, sends me to a relaxed world of culinary bliss. Rich and drenched in a slightly spicy tomato sauce, Osso Bucco is pretty easy to make but difficult to perfect. Café Ponte has perfected it. This chic, 163-seat restaurant's been around two years now, quietly making its mark on the Bay area restaurant scene. I've eaten there numerous times and am always oddly drawn to the amazing Osso Bucco. But not when the bill is mine. At a hefty $24, it's not for the faint of wallet, but worth every penny. The leftovers rock, too.
Café Ponte, 13505 Icot Blvd., Clearwater, 727-538-5768.
BEST PLACE TO WORK OUT IN SOUTH TAMPA AND BE LEFT ALONE BY MEATHEADS
Harbour Island Athletic Club
We humans are a hormonal bunch, fettered by our longing to see and be seen. Skimpy clothing reveals our buff bods, as well as the unsightly flab. But one place you need not worry about exposing the extra pounds is Harbour Island Athletic Club. It's there you can burn calories in peace, unbothered by a meathead pickup scene like at some South Tampa clubs. It's really no wonder, since a large majority of the members are families. But, there are also the quarterly socials for singles to meet, greet and talk buff. However, all this serenity comes at a price. Membership is a hefty $90-plus a month, plus a fee to join. Yikes, you might say, but the added benefits are plenty: free classes, new equipment, polished basketball and racquetball courts, and so many cardio machines you rarely have to wait. And no fretting if my fat ass hangs out of my shorts.
Harbour Island Athletic Club, 900 S. Harbour Island Blvd., Tampa, 813-202-1950.
BEST PLACE TO BLOW OFF AN AFTERNOON OF WORK
Busch Gardens
Although you might not believe me, writing is hard work. Coming up with witty, creative tidbits can be tough when you're: 1. pre-occupied with other crap in life; 2. obsessing over a significant other; or 3. on deadline. It's those days I long to be out in the open air, liberating my brain and slurping free beer. So I head to Busch Gardens. With this year's Fun Card program, you can buy one enormously overpriced $53 ticket and get the rest of the year free. But then you get unlimited Montu rides, feeling the air rush through your toes and the blood race to your head; access to wild animals having uninhibited sex right in front of you — like the time the giant turtles were humping (ever wonder why my wine columns can get a little sexy?); and watch complete idiots get drenched on the bridge exiting the Stanley Falls ride.
Busch Gardens, Busch Boulevard at 40th Street, Tampa, 888-800-5447.
BEST COOKING SHOW
The Naked Chef on Food Network
No, he's not really naked. Englishman Jamie Oliver is a down-to-earth, non-POW! guy just trying to spread his fever for restaurant cooking to the masses. Wildly popular on England's BBC, Jamie gained a reputation for simplifying the complicated fare you find on fancy restaurant menus. He brings it down to basics, using fresh herbs and ingredients, thus the reason for the name Naked Chef. But the best thing about Jamie is his complete lack of pretension. It's as if he doesn't realize millions of people worship him. Unfortunately, his shows only airs at 3:00 a.m. on Thursday nights, so catch him when you can; he's much better than flagrant egotist Emeril or convict Martha. (Note: Jamie Oliver also stars in Oliver's Twist, where viewers accompany the chef to food shops and fresh markets before going back to his London flat, where he whips up culinary masterpieces for his friends.)
Catch Naked Chef at 3 a.m. Thurs., and Oliver's Twist at 9:30 p.m. and 12:30 a.m. Weds., and 6:30 p.m. Sat.
BEST PLACE TO WATCH BUCCANEER AWAY GAMES
Beef o' Brady's
I, along with thousands of other people, am a rabid Bucs fan. A few years ago, a former boyfriend began dragging me to games, and the excitement somehow penetrated my psyche. Screaming your head off, waving banners and swilling expensive beer seem to generate a weird sort of kinship. No matter what the judgmental intellectuals say, football is a great way to bind people, whether in an airport, a bar in Hong Kong or sitting on a dive barstool in your hometown. It's really the only time snooty yuppies rub elbows with the rednecks and deign to embrace when a touchdown occurs. But away games are a challenge. A sports bar seems the best solution, where you can order up the hot chicken wings and start the flow of beer pitchers at exactly 11 a.m. on Sundays. What better place to hunker down than Beef o' Brady's? Arrive early to snag the good seats in front of the huge screens, and scope out the best server. Known to regulars as "Beef's," this bar/restaurant serves up the best wings in town and the cheapest beer specials for the games. But the crowd is the best. Like Cheers, everyone knows each other's names, and by the end of the fourth quarter, kinship abounds.
Locations throughout the Tampa Bay area, all independently owned franchises. My favorite Beef's is 2819 S. MacDill Ave., Tampa, 813-835-9464.
This article appears in Sep 25 – Oct 1, 2003.