Here's a snippet/rough draft from an upcoming edition of my Bar Tab column [that became Her Name Was Lola, published .07.25.07]. For the uninitiated, The Hub is probably one of Tampa's most beloved dives thanks in part to a commendable jukebox. And, well, the strongest cocktails in town. And $1.50 cans of Busch. And a crowd of regulars that runs the gamut from yuppie businessmen to nervously shaking bums. Anyway, here's a little bit of how my night went at The Hub last Friday, when I was joined by Hub enthusiasts Helen and Lola (pictured with me at the bar.)

Either way, Lola was hammered when we returned to The Hub. Luckily, she’s not a sloppy or belligerent drunk. Just one that feels it's appropriate to start dancing in a dive bar where everyone is huddled over their beers and shots, drinking in silence, as if they’re trying very hard to forget how bad their lives are fucked up. Lola couldn’t hold back when Elvis Presley came on the jukebox and started singing the rockabilly favorite “Money Honey.”

Lola: “Dance with me.”

Me: “Nope.”

Lola: “Dance with me!”

Me: “No way.”

Lola: “You did it before.”

Me: “And I made a fool of myself. I’m not quite that drunk tonight.”

Lola: “Come on!”

Me: “Dance with Helen.”

Helen (rolling her eyes): “She’ll find someone.”

Lola turned to her left. Smiled at the sucker in a floppy baseball hat that was sitting there next to us at the bar nursing a cocktail. Lola had already smoked his last Pall Mall. Now she was asking the middle-aged fellow to dance with her. Of course, he agreed, figuring he’d get to rub up against this woman who was probably half his age. But that ain’t how Lola dances. She does those crazy swing moves from the 1920s and ‘30s that got popular again in the ‘90s and require mad skills.

“I’ll lead,” Lola said after firmly grasping the man’s nicotine-stained hands.

The fellow didn’t have a chance. Lola was leading him around the dirty checkerboard floor and it looked like she had, well, a drunk bum in her hands not blessed with an iota of coordination. I feared his heart would go out at any moment.

“Can’t you hear the beat?” she snapped. “One, two, three, four — see, it’s easy.”

But for him, it wasn’t.

The Hub: Playlist (7 songs for $2)

1. "What'd I Say" (live), Ray Charles

2. "Cheap Thrills," David Allan Coe

3. "Money Honey," Elvis Presley

4. "Love and Happiness," Al Green

5. "Doreen," Old 97's

6. "Jambalaya," Hank Williams Sr.

7. "I Don't Wanna Be the One," Lucero

ANYONE ELSE GOT ANY HUB TALES?

This article appears in Jul 11-17, 2007.