Colorado Springs, CO — The party-on-wheels that is Cross Country: The Mom Chronicles rolled through the great state of Kansas yesterday, which houses some of the most amazing roadside attractions west of the Mississippi. We didn't actually see any of them, mind you; my sister Alison, her husband Rich, and their flesh-eating dog Rosie were waiting to eat dinner with us 587 miles away in Colorado Springs. But we saw the signs. The Greyhound Hall of Fame in Abilene was tempting, but we decided against it when we realized that the stuffed dogs were most likely slower than they had been in their heyday. We came closer to turning off in Oakley, 200 miles down I-70. Prarie Dog Town promised, of course, the "Biggest Prarie Dog in the World." The PDT also boasted of two-headed pigs, six-legged horses, and a miniature donkey named Roscoe. If they'd billed Roscoe as a 'mini-ass', I think we would've had to stand up Alison on her dinner invite.
Though we avoided the animal freak show, we still had to gas up of course. And truck stops, my friends, hold some important keys to unlocking the mystery that is Kansas, U.S.A.
First off, before we even got out of the car, we discovered that the place is flat. Crushingly, mind-numbingly flat. Supposedly, if we'd come through in the fall, there would have been soybeans stocks everywhere. (Do soybeans grow on stocks?) But it's winter, and all you could see were swaths of mustard yellow and spinach green. For miles. And miles. And miles.