It seems Hillsborough County commissioners have finally discovered the root of the problem when it comes to our clogged highways. And they are moving forward with a solution!

We have far too many people on the streets heading to visit a strip club or out searching for a good spot to burn a flag, judging from the issues that have topped the commission agenda in the recent past. Not to mention those hordes of people furtively seeking books by gay and lesbian authors at a local library.

Now, commissioners already have put an end to the library problem and are working hard and spending lots of your tax dollars to eliminate the other two traffic generators. (They are set to take on the adult entertainment industry at their Aug. 2 meeting.)

Once we unclog the highways of perverts, commies and homos, you will be able to drive down Dale Mabry Highway in Tampa or State Road 60 in Brandon at 5 o’clock rush hour without so much as tapping your brakes once.

And you thought the Hillsborough County Commission wasn’t doing any thing productive.

This article appears in Jul 12-18, 2006.