I would never survive in a Florida prison.
- The Pakistani government considers a state of emergency, because, you know, when the protests of the shat-upon majority rankles the military dictatorship in charge, sometimes The General has to curb human rights a little. (In fairness, CNN is reporting that Musharraf has decided against "emergency rule," but maybe I don't trust CNN all that much.)
- Speaking of rights trampling: Bush puts A.G. Gonzo in charge of the new, expanded "foreign" eavesdropping program. You ever get that feeling you're about to wake up from a rather heinous dream, only to realize you've been up for hours?
- Mayor Pam gets behind mass transit in Tampa. Usable light rail is now only a few decades away!!!
- A tornado rips through Brooklyn, NY for the first time ever. In other news, Global Warming is a scam!
- Eight Florida prison inmates have been charged with shaking hands with the bishop while alone in their jail cells. Apparently, monkey punching isn't just against God's law, but an affront to the entire sunshine state as well.
- More penises in the news: The now-former Young Republican National Federation chair resignes after accusations that he gave an unwanted blowjob to a guy sleeping at his sister's house.
- You're World, (sort of) Delivered: AT&T censors a webcast of Pearl Jam live at Lollapalooza because Lead Singer Eddie Vedder sang a few (rather tame) lines criticizing President Bush.
- Mysteries of the brain explored. The more I read about the brain, the more I consider permanently wearing a helmet.
This article appears in Aug 8-14, 2007.