What's so funny, Mitchell?
- Here's why Bush won't attack Iran … or maybe he will … but probably not … we think.
- Dan Rather battles Viacom for $70 million. It's like a cockfight in the hen house on the eve of the last full moon before the fourth of July!
- "The Empty Can" continues to rattle wildly, this time declaring war on Pakistani leader Gen. Pervez Musharraf.
- What are you reading on the plane? Homeland Security is keeping track.
- Republican lawmakers stand up for their president and block a Senate bill that required military personnel to get as much time at home as they spent in Iraq before redeployment. Possible Republican reasoning: You sleep when you're dead, which for some of these guys won't be long now, anyway.
- Tampa lands another hottie on ABC's The Bachelor.
- Everyone's favorite Devil Ray is in the news again: Did Elijah Dukes abscond with his kids?
- Is that a choking noise I hear coming from New England?
This article appears in Sep 19-25, 2007.