When my friend Craig told me he had the entire first three seasons of my favorite guilty pleasure show — Buffy the Vampire Slayer — on DVD, one thought came to mind: MARATHON!

It'd be great: We'd stuff ourselves with junk food and become one with the couch till dawn. It would be just like the old days, sans the Nintendo and recreational drugs. We planned to meet at Craig's house at 1 p.m. on a Saturday, and I was praying for an overcast, rainy day.

The designated Saturday dawned bright and non-humid. A perfect day to enjoy outdoor pursuits. But we had three seasons to watch, a total of more than 20 discs, so after a few minutes (read: 30) of admiring Craig's beautiful garden, we adjourned inside to start the show.

1:35 p.m. — Craig inserts Buffy season #1. He draws the shades, turns up the AC and we settle back in our own house-shaped sarcophagus to enjoy the marathon on his glorious 48-inch-screen TV.

1:40 p.m. — Craig busts open the junk food. Seeing as how we aren't 22 any longer, I had bypassed the Doritos and brought along the slightly healthier Smartfood White Cheddar Popcorn. Still yummy.

2:45 p.m. — Craig puts a pizza in the oven. It's a frozen International Kitchen Thai Chicken pizza. No greasy pepperoni for us!

3:10 p.m. — Buffy averts the Master's evil plans. The Harvest is diverted!

3:38 p.m. — Scott Harrell calls. Seems I've given him the wrong key to our friend Marsha's house. We load into the car for the considerable haul from Seminole Heights to the St. Pete side of the Gandy.

3:49 p.m. — Scott Harrell calls again. "Turn the car around, the back door was open."

3:55 p.m. — Back at the house. Quick insert of Hedwig and the Angry Inch DVD to watch three videos.

4:18 p.m. – Back to Buffy; season #1 cont. Cheerleaders on fire — always good. More demon slayage.

4:30 p.m. — Craig's partner, Bob, is home from work. Break to chitchat while he cleans his house-painting gear. Man, what a beautiful day! Such a shame to be inside. Craig starts grilling blackened chicken for dinner.

5:25 p.m. — Dinner's served! Buffy temporarily suspended to enjoy the chow.

6:53 p.m. — Buffy season #1 cont. Sexy substitute teacher as large praying mantis. (Head-)chomping good fun.

8:07 p.m. — Bob runs to Publix for ice cream, whipped cream, bananas, cherries, etc.

8:36 p.m. — Break for banana splits.

8:50 p.m. — Series #1 cont. Possession by hyena. Funny ha-ha. And Peculiar.

11 p.m. — Bob retires. Ha! Wuss!

11:50 p.m. — Food digesting; eyes drooping; getting sleepy. Man, Craig's couch is comfy. And the rooms are such warm, sedative colors…

12:35 a.m. — Season #1 cont. Buffy's doing something onscreen. Distracted by FoxTrot cartoon book. Yawning regularly now.

1:45 a.m. — Driving home along Bayshore on autopilot. Only one thought comes to mind: Tomorrow, I'm starting a new book.

This article appears in May 14-20, 2003.