Some friends and I stopped in at the Green Parrot Pub in North Tampa two Fridays ago and things got ugly. We were faced with the kind of asshole that lives to start shit. And my buddy Buckman isn't the kind of fellow who readily takes shit. The incident became fodder for my latest Bar Tab column "You Talking To Me?" Here's a snippet from it followed by a fitting playlist:
(The photo is of me showing off my fight face. It was taken by my friend and frequent Creative Loafing commentator Kellie M.)
"So, you think, you think all them Hyde Park bars are better than this, don't ya?"
Well, well, well. This dude was definitely fucking with me. For no reason.
I looked at The Asshole and laughed. "No, that's not what I'm saying, partner."
"You sure," he said. "You sure you ain't saying all them Hyde Park places ain't better than this place here?"
"No, that's not what I'm saying," I sighed.
"What about the Chatterbox," he continued. "You ever go there?
"No," I snapped, figuring if The Asshole was dead set on a ruckus then that's what he'd get.
"How about the Hydeaway?"
"Look, man," I said. "Neither of those bars are open any more."
The asshole smirked and took another drink.
Buckman returned. The Asshole turned to him and said: "Man, your friend's making me feel old; he ain't never been to the Chatterbox."
"That's because that place has been closed for about six years," Buckman said.
"Oh, man, that place was great," the Asshole continued.
"No," Buckman said. "The Chatterbox was a shithole."
Top 10: Songs for fighting
1. "Ballroom Blitz," Sweet
2. "Mama Said Knock You Out," LL Cool J
3. "Hit 'Em Up," 2Pac
4. "Up Against the Wall, Redneck Mother," Ray Wylie Hubbard
5. "Eye of the Tiger," Survivor
6. "Long Haired Redneck," David Allan Coe
7. "Keep Their Heads Ringin,'" Dr. Dre
7. "Stranglehold," Ted Nugent
8. "(Pardon Me) I Have Someone To Kill," Johnny Paycheck
9. "Check Yo Self," Ice Cube
10. "Stack O' Lee," Merle Travis
WHAT DID I MISS?