Letting politicians decide what is good public access will deprive the community of entertaining, even informative shows that ratings-obsessed commercial stations would never air.
Unlike network TV, public access doesn't leave any of the nuts and unsavory ingredients out of the cable melting pot.
That equality seems to be one of public access' problems.
Hillsborough County Commissioner Ronda Storms made the public access show White Chocolate headline news, either in an effort to boost her political profile or to get a Ronda Storms paper puppet featured on the show. She succeeded in the puppet department.
She should be proud. While the real Storms may be as hysterical as a witch burning, the paper Storms is hysterically funny.
When cable companies started getting contracts to serve municipalities, governments quickly realized that free speech could become too expensive for the little guys. Enter public access. Local governments were given money from cable franchise fees to host their own channels. Educational and Government access were too much of a snooze to cause trouble.
But uncensored public access shows came under fire immediately for their racy content. It didn't matter. Programs have to be found to be legally obscene in order to be taken off the air.
Today, the Alliance for Community Media, a nonprofit that works with the Federal Communications Commission to ensure TV is a medium available to all of society, estimates that more than 30,000 hours of public access programs are produced nationally each year.
And that's not 30,000 hours of smut and racism. Groups like the League of Women Voters, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People and the American Association for Retired People all use the powerful medium of television to express their views and communicate with members without the price tag of commercial TV time.
There is an alternative to public access, though. Cable companies can provide local origination programming, which gives counties more control over what's on the air. In a recent editorial, The Tampa Tribune expressed the view that Pinellas County's more tightly regulated programming was better than Hillsborough's decision to have full-on public access.
"In Hillsborough, anyone can become a "citizen producer' of a show," the Tribune editorial board opined. "In Pinellas, people must already have some TV experience, and it shows."
Maybe. But Hillsborough's public access program provides experience. Ordinary citizens can go through a free 12-week course and then create a show of their own. Students from the University of Tampa work on public access shows for college credit and add valuable hands-on experience to their book learning.
And experience producing a cable show, even one that is a monument to bad taste, sometimes leads to much bigger things. Comedian Tom Green started out on public access before he moved on to MTV and the big screen. Fox recently picked up the sitcom Greg the Bunny, which journeyed from public access to the Independent Film Channel before landing at the network.
While every public access show isn't destined to be the next big thing, there are a few contenders.
'Saheeb's Dream'
One of the public access shows that embody all that is good and evil about TV is Saheeb's Dream, or, as this reviewer likes to call it, "Saheeb's Motherfuckin' Dream."
Yes, Saheeb swears at a rate of about two four-letter words per sentence. But, if you can listen to 6-year-old kids curse at the same rate on South Park, you should be able to handle a few shits and damns here and there from Saheeb. Although his show does have its share of smut, in the form of Saheeb's Dream girls dancing in the buff or close to it, it also offers some wisdom — if you have the patience to listen for it.
In this post-Sept. 11 world, many Sunday pundits and news analysts have voiced the opinion that there's something wrong in both the INS and the FBI when people who have come into this country legally can steal airplanes and use them as weapons. Saheeb says the same thing; he just states it more clearly: "The government fucked up."
Afghanistan is just a scapegoat, said Saheeb. If it's not, the government should have coughed up some proof of Osama bin Laden's involvement and shared it with the people who pay the bombing bills. "I'm a taxpayer; my money is going over there bombing some motherfuckers that I don't know if they had anything to do with it or not," he said.
When Malcolm X gave a speech, he always tried to speak at a level that his audience could understand and identify with. Saheeb's certainly no Malcolm X, but his language has the same effect.
Some people like to hear men in sharp suits talk about the need to reform the FBI on CNN. Others don't trust the talking heads and need to hear information from someone who sits in front of a red, black and green banner and wears shades. Either way, the message is the same.
When Saheeb talks about the Patriot Act, which was hastily passed by Congress with little debate after the attacks, he urges caution for his black viewers. "It seems like whenever some shit goes down or laws change, we get the short end of the stick," he said.
Sure, right now the government is profiling Arab non-citizens, said Saheeb. But once freedoms are suspended for some, that suspension of freedom expands to everyone. "You know they're going to broaden the search-and-seizure laws and all that bullshit," he said.
Saheeb gracefully segues from the war-on-terrorism to the war-on-drugs when he explains to his audience that they do indeed have rights. If you are stopped for a minor traffic violation and a cop asks to search the vehicle, Saheeb gives sage advice: "Fuck that. When they ask to search your car, you can say no."
Many people may not be aware of it, but you really can just say no. Relating a story of a cop who wanted to search his car when he was stopped for a broken tag light, Saheeb said he refused. The Texas officers then had him wait 20 minutes while they brought out search dogs to sniff around the vehicle they had no right to sniff in.
When they didn't find anything, the officer asked why Saheeb didn't submit to the unwarranted but much quicker search in the first place. "'Cause I don't want your nasty, fucking filthy hands all over my shit. That's why," Saheeb said, probably when he was safely out of Texas.
Saheeb is anything but anti-police, though.
When a caller relates his experience of being stopped for driving while black in New Jersey and having a cop put a gun to his head, Saheeb doesn't paint all police with the same brush. "That's atypical," he said. "I don't want to make this into a cop-hating show; all cops aren't bad."
His real point, he explains, is that there are not enough checks and balances. Abuses aren't reported when the victims are just happy to drive away with their lives, and not all cars are equipped with the video equipment that can act as a supervisor while an officer is in the field.
"That's where education comes in," he tells the caller. Know that you have a right to complain when an officer does something wrong and follow up on that complaint.
The cops have to follow laws just like citizens do, he explained. "The cops are just an extension of the Legislature and the judges," he said. "They can only do what they're allowed to do.
"We need to be educated on the Constitution and the system and we need to mobilize," he said.
Ain't that the motherfuckin' truth?
Airs Mondays at 11 p.m. on Time Warner Ch. 20.
'Rewind'
In a lot of ways, Rewind is just like any other news pundit show; the hosts sometimes say just what you were thinking and sometimes they're so wrong you want to scream at the TV.
What makes Rewind unique, according to show founder and St. Petersburg activist Eric Rubin, is its bias. Instead of being biased in favor of corporate America, he said, his show is biased in favor of working and poor people, and he doesn't try to hide that fact.
The panel is generally composed of union activists Rick Baker and Fred Winters, community activist Jeanie Blue, WMNF-88.5 FM news maven Randi Zimmerman and Rubin himself.
They kick around social issues and give their perspective on what's going on in the world. The problem with this crowd is that with their progressive and labor roots they're a little too biased. No one plays devil's advocate, and there's a distinct lack of what makes most pundit shows interesting: fights.
While they do champion the downtrodden, the panelists do it mostly in that smarmy liberal way that says: "We're right, and you're stupid."
That attitude is no more appealing when it comes from the left than when you hear it on Fox News Channel.
But there's hope. Recently, events have conspired to pare the panel down to just Rubin, Zimmerman and WMNF Assistant News Director Mitch Perry. (Full disclosure: Perry also writes for Weekly Planet.) While all panelists are knowledgeable on the subjects they're discussing, Perry and Zimmerman have the added benefit of being genuinely knowledgeable on just about every topic. They have to be; it's their day job.
They cover a lot of ground with Rubin directing the discussion, from the current scandal in the Catholic Church and what the recent meeting in Rome meant …
"I'm guessing there's not going to be a major shake-up in the Roman Catholic Church," said Zimmerman. "There's not going to be a major purge of priests because of this issue."
… to the crisis in Venezuela …
Perry observed that while the White House told the media that President Hugo Chavez had resigned, the European Union sensed a coup and refused to recognize the Chavez resignation. This hinted at U.S. collusion in the coup, said Perry. "The day after Chavez was back, he announced that he would uphold the oil embargo against Cuba," said Perry. This doesn't mean that the U.S. helped oust the leader who's been criticized for having a close relationship with Fidel Castro, Perry stated. But it is food for thought.
Although Perry and Zimmerman work for the same radio station, they don't hold the same views on world events, and it shows.
The two had a rousing debate over the Middle East, specifically the Israeli incursions into the territories. But just when the argument started to get hot, Perry backed down from what seemed to be fear of looking like an anti-Semite. "I'm not going to get into that," he said, when Zimmerman asked if the Israelis had a right to protect themselves.
It's too bad. It would have been a much better show if he had been willing to really put his views on the line.
Viewers began calling in when the discussion centered on Israel, but Perry insisted on changing the subject to a recent Ralph Nader rally before they really got a chance to get fired up.
Some of the UT students working in production held up signs to let the panel know that they were getting a little too boring, but to no avail.
Overall, Rewind is a great show in the making. Serious newshounds will love watching these knowledgeable people discuss the issues. But those same newshounds will turn the channel if the host doesn't pass out the boxing gloves.
Airs Fridays at 8 p.m. on Time Warner Ch. 20.
'Xposure'
There's more to Tampa than black beans and a mysterious absence of sidewalks. There are talented local musicians working their hearts out to break N' Sync's evil spell over the population and show people what real music sounds like.
So how come they don't get no love? Because you've probably never heard of most of them.
Jeremy Heinemann produces Xposure expressly for the purpose of giving local artists their due, he said. "If your CD is not in the stores being sold, they don't want to play you," he said of that other music-dispensing entity called commercial radio. Even on community-minded WMNF, it's hard for struggling local artists to get a break, he said.
So Heinemann and his buddies spend as many as 30 hours a week taping local bands at venues like the Brass Mug and State Theatre, and editing the footage down to a one-hour public access music fest. OK, sometimes it's more music mess than music fest. But one man's horrifying noise is another's Nirvana.
Bands contact the show either by e-mail or through the station and the crew tries its best to fit them into the schedule, no matter what kind of music they play, said Heinemann. The variety sparks a little crossover. "We get people who like to listen to rap, to listen to a little rock," he said.
The crew consists of about nine or 10 of Heinemann's friends but he was the only one who went through the class for public access producers. Even though he has the title of head honcho, his pals all have roles as camera operators, booking agents, editors or anything else that needs to be done on the show.
Heinemann first got the idea of doing a show from his grandfather, who has a public access show in Atlanta. He took the courses and began producing a comedy show with a few live acoustic performances thrown in. From there, the show evolved into the Xposure that's on cable today.
But the evolution hasn't stopped for Heinemann and his buddies. They've now begun to promote their own concerts; booking bands and securing the venue, then recording the performances for their show. Their last foray into promoting was at the University of South Florida last April and the event was such a success they're looking to do more, said Heinemann.
"It all came together nicely," said Heinemann.
Airs Saturdays at 11p.m. on Time Warner Ch. 20.
'Chocolate Is My Crayon'
Unlike Storms' favorite programmer, Charles "White Chocolate" Perkins, producer Michael Baugh doesn't use his chocolate crayon to write on naked chicks. Instead, he's using it to become a cooking-show star.
As with Pinellas public access, the Food Network also has an experience Catch-22. To be considered for a show, you need to have experience. To get experience, you need to have a show. That's what baker Baugh found out when he visited the Big Apple to pitch his show a couple of years ago.
Baugh owns the popular South Tampa bakery Let Them Eat Cake, where locals have relied on his skills with chocolate to adorn everything from birthday parties to Gasparilla celebrations. But as much as he loves serving up chocolate chess sets to Tampa, the terminally cheerful Baugh knows he's meant for food TV success.
After he returned from New York, Baugh set out to become a public access producer so that the big city foodies would have video footage of his cooking show charm.
Every week Baugh covers his skin in Mac cosmetics and dispenses baking tips to the masses as he creates masterpieces for his clients. "What I do is try to find out how extreme I can get and how fun I can make it for me," he said of his work.
Baugh never knows what he'll be making from week to week because his TV creations are actually bakery orders, he said. But knowing that he's going to be filming his work makes his creations all the more elaborate.
During last year's Gasparilla celebration, Baugh featured the making of a pirate ship complete with white chocolate sails. He's cheerful and upbeat as he calmly tells his cable audience why he froze the cake before cutting and shaping it to resemble a boat.
If you've ever wondered how bakeries can make a cake look like anything under the sun, look no further than Chocolate Is My Crayon.
A mirror over Baugh's workstation provides a bird's-eye view of everything he does, so you won't miss a step in the process. As he pipes white chocolate through a decorating bag over a wooden dowel to make the boat's sails, Baugh tells his audience that they don't have to be too cautious. "You can do this anyway you'd like," he coos. Then he abandons the decorating bag for the more plebian method of spooning chocolate out of the bowl.
It's comforting to see a professional with every baking tool at his disposal abandon those tools for ones people actually have in their kitchens. This alone should earn Baugh a spot on the Food Network.
Baugh has mastered the TV chef method of talking the entire time he's working. So you learn how to make your own decorating bag out of paper, what size spatula works best for frosting a cake and how many servings you can expect from his recipes.
The fun of most cooking shows isn't really that you're actually going to make the creations that you see on the screen. It's about getting the sense that you could if you wanted to, then proceeding to order your elaborate treats from a professional.
With Baugh's show, viewers actually get the sense that even if they can't quite pull off what he's creating, they can at least pull off some reasonably good knockoff. Even if it's not perfect, the effort will still be delicious.
Airs Wednesdays at 8:30 p.m. on Time Warner Ch. 20.
Contact Staff Writer Rochelle Renford at 813-248-8888, ext. 163, or rochelle.renford@weeklyplanet.com.
This article appears in Jun 5-11, 2002.