First, a male cheerleader dropped dead on Tuesday (cause of death still
under investigation). Then Sigma Alpha Epsilon got caught going way too far
hazing (the key search terms being: diapers, fairy wings, women’s panties)
and has been suspended by the nat’l office. Then three SAE kids had to be
taken to the hospital by ambulance because they were so alcoholically
wasted. Now the school has announced it is investigating Alpha Tau Omega
after a pledge was found in the Health and Public Affairs building with his
pants down. [Florida Sun-Sentinel] [Orlando Sentinel] [South Florida
Sun-Sentinel] [WKMG-TV (Orlando)]

Make a Note: Fruit Still Not Falling Far from Tree A 4th-grade girl at Hurst Elementary in Holly Hill was arrested after her
fourth slapping-kicking assault on her teacher in 10 days, and her lesson
for the day this time is, Can you spell “felony”? A sheriff’s spokesman
called the girl’s mother to come pick her up, but mom said she had an
appointment and couldn’t make it. “I don’t have time for her” and “I don’t
care what you do with her” were what the sheriff’s spokesman recalls Mom
saying. [WKMG-TV (Orlando)]

It Was Bomb-Scare Day in Florida Police closed off 30 square blocks in Tampa after a courier dropped off his
regular run of educational pamphlets at two Bank of America locations. (The
security guards said they were new and that nobody told them about the
dropoffs.) And police in Port St. John (by Cape Canaveral) cordoned off the
area around a bus stop, and a robot discovered that the strange briefcase
contained, well, fecal matter. [Tampa Tribune] [Florida Today]

My Errorors Ñ Oops, Errors The two Florida House candidates who have endorsed the need to reinvestigate
Sept. 11th (certain that the partisanship-rejecting, experts-overflowing,
Bob Kerrey-a’prosecuting 9-11 Commission got it all wrong) are U.S. House
candidates, not state House candidates. Bob Bowman (D) is running for Rep.
Dave Weldon’s 15th District seat (most of Osceola, Brevard, Indian River
counties), and Ms. Samm Simpson (D) is running for Rep. C.W. Bill Young’s
10th District seat (St. Petersburg and ‘burbs). [TheFState, 11-2-2006]

Your Daily Loser Linda Grass, 58, was Tasered and arrested in the parking lot of the
Brooksville Wal-Mart after she went nuts about a police officer’s rescuing
her panting dog that she had left in her hot car while she shopped. She also
tried to back into the cop, revved her engine to scare him, and committed
illegal use of the hands-on offense. [St. Petersburg Times]

More Things To Worry About Today The invasion of the Mississippi ear-staplers (actually fake acupuncturists
who convince overweight people that sticking a semi-permanent pin in their
ear is the answer to their prayers) [St. Petersburg Times] . . . . . A Fort
Lauderdale bank robber eschews a privately owned vehicle for his getaway, in
favor of public transportation (a taxicab), but doesn’t get far [South
Florida Sun-Sentinel] . . . . . City commissioners in Broward’s Cooper City
are captured on hidden camera boozing it up (on the taxpayer’s dime)
immediately before the meeting in which they voted themselves big pay hikes
[Miami Herald] . . . . . Fort Myers police think they’ve uncovered the
biggest marijuana grow house ever in the city, er, 94 plants [WBBH-TV (Fort
Myers)] . . . . . There’s at least one productive Floridian at work today:
Lou Ann Best, owner-trainer of Twiggy and Twiglet, the water-skiing
squirrels [Daytona Beach News-Journal via Sarasota Herald-Tribune].