While the state of Florida is currently bombarded with real life issues like rising sea levels, aging infrastructure, an exploding affordable housing crisis, and a property insurance industry on the brink of total collapse, Gov. Ron DeSantis has instead spent his time standing in front of uniformed cops at daily pressers and yelling about whatever he thinks is “woke.”

So, in an effort to see what a parallel universe might look like, we asked the AI generator DALL-E to show us a glimpse of a somewhat normal, non-shitty DeSantis doing somewhat normal, non-shitty things. As you can see it nearly broke the damn thing.

Unfortunately, the results are terrifying. It’s as if the mere suggestion that Ron DeSantis is capable of addressing climate change, attending a Pride parade, or even reading a newspaper, was just too difficult for this poor AI generator.

We apologize in advance. 

Shirtless Ron DeSantis fighting a nazi Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis ripping on a cool guitar Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis wearing a mask correctly Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis thanking Joe Biden with a big hug for all that federal money Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis hugging a manatee Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis getting vaccine Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis at Pride parade Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis on RuPaul’s Drag Race Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis enjoying a day at woke Disney World Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis and Anthony Fauci on a motorcycle Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis at a Rage Against The Machine concert Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis reading book about CRT Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis holding back rising seas, due to climate change Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis and Gavin Newsom enjoying a day at the beach Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis reading a newspaper Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis dunking a basketball Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis creating affordable housing Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis eating a salad Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis helping a teacher Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis using the word “groomer” correctly Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis driving a hybrid car Credit: Photo via DALL-E
Ron DeSantis in front of a dumpster fire, that is Florida Credit: Photo via DALL-E

Colin Wolf has been working with weekly newspapers since 2007 and has been the Digital Editor for Creative Loafing Tampa since 2019. He is also the Director of Digital Content Strategy for CL's parent...