Heads up, you're gonna have to move fast to get in on this sites raging tournament action! The thrills! The chills! The inbred marmosets wait, that's just me. Right. Anyway, the roadtospringfield.com takes two of America's favorite "pass times" and combines them into one caramel-coated Web goodness site. No, not prostitution and tax evasion (although I'm sure that's out there), I'm talking about basketball and The Simpsons. This is a battle royal to decide who is the best Simpsons supporting character (I don't believe this is in any way officially associated with the show, but what the hell, right?). Each person has been lined up in the brackets by region (with names like Life of Homer and Springfield at Large), given a seed and we, as loyal little Simp-ites, vote for who would win the match-up. The early rounds have had some no-brainers (Monty Burns vs. Kearny, the fat, bald bully kid? Please, that one was over before it started) but the commentaries about the competitions sound more like Celebrity DeathMatch than anything else. Check them out under the Results tab, where you can also see the comments of voters. My favorite comes from a gent named Monte Cook about the Groundskeeper Willy/Todd Flanders set — "It's goht ta be Willah, an' nah the wee lass. Oh, criiipes! It's a lil' lad, nah a gurl! Ooh, muh lunch is crawlin' up me pipe. A lad! Whooda thunk? I'ma goona be seck, now." Phonetically written messages rule. However, with one match per weekday, it should be done with sometime in July, so it is a time-sensitive site. Head on over now and get voting. While I'm sure betting it's not condoned, my money's on Ralph "I bent my Wookie" Wiggum. The kid's a natural.
—Patrick J. Graney