Cat Enemahttp://www.catenema.com
Some people have way too much time on their hands. Foremost in this category are the insane. I mean, c'mon, when you're cuckoo it's not like you have a schedule, right? Anyway, my job description falls under the "too much time" category. C'mon, I get paid to surf the Web and write about what I find; do the math. Another is the guy who put together catenema.com. As the opening sentence/mission statement/voice crying for help states, "Weird stuff happens. Then, I write about it and post it here. Everything you read within these pages is ABSOLUTELY TRUE." Of course, by telling us that it's "absolutely true" in all caps leads me to believe this is the kind of guy who writes chain letters and has an AOL account, but we'll leave that discussion for a later date. As the name implies, the crown jewel in the catenema.com stable of stories revolves around a feline named "Fred" getting his bung washed out. No, there are not any graphic images of said cleansing, but the author has been nice enough to provide hand-drawn pictures colored in with crayons. Oh, and one photograph that shows Fred is actually an agent of Cthulhu prepared to feast on your very soul. That was one pissed off tabby. Other stories seems lackluster after reading the Saga of Fred, but more of the Crayola on crack artwork makes it worth a gander. "Drag Queen Traffic Mishap" (do I really need to go into detail?) is well worth your time, and "My Neighbor Is Insane" is pretty good. Although, when you tell me of an old man pissing in his own driveway while checking the stream with a flashlight and lighting fires in the street, my mind doesn't flash to "Hey, that's different"; I wonder, "Grandpa?"
—Patrick J. Graney
This article appears in Nov 8-14, 2001.