CHENEY'S DRESSING-ROOM DEMANDS
"Heart pills must be separated by color — No Browns!"
FLORIDA SUPREME COURT, PART ONE
Allows anti-gay marriage amendment on the ballot because, as one justice writes, "that shit is gross."
PRINCE PAINT JOB
His rental house has purple stripes; address changed to undeliverable symbol.
SKID-ROW PATIENT DUMPING
And socialized medicine would be worse than this in what way?
FLORIDA SUPREME COURT, PART TWO
Strikes redistricting amendment; Republicans rejoice, Democrats object, democracy screwed.
FINAL FOUR
Gator-hating to reach all-time high as entire nation roots for Cinderella-team George Mason.
CHARLIE CRIST ABORTION FLIP-FLOP
All part of secret plan to get the crucial South Dakota vote.
GENE SIMMONS
Tattoos checkered flag on his tongue for role as St. Pete Grand Prix grand marshal.
ST. KATHERINE
Takes vow of poverty; turns to God for campaign advice; God tells her to stay off national TV.
KEVIN COVAIS OFF IDOL
Takes touring gig in Chicken Little On Ice.
OUR VISION
"A commitment to quality par excellence."
Compiled by Weekly Planet staff.
This article appears in Mar 29 – Apr 4, 2006.