*=critics pick
FOOD & DRINK
1. BEST CUBAN SANDWICH
Deli News Cafe
680 Main St.
Dunedin 727-735-0505
Some hold that the Cuban sandwich developed in Cuba and immigrated to Tampa in the lunch boxes of cigar workers who came here looking for work in the 1800s. Others hold that the sandwich really developed in Tampa and made its way back to Cuba. Either way, there's a longstanding belief that the best Cuban sandwich can only be found in Ybor City. This year, our readers disagreed, voting for the version of the sandwich found at the Deli News Cafe. Where do we stand on the issue? On any side that lets us fill our mouths with a great sandwich made on good Cuban bread, sliced open and stuffed with three styles of pork, including mojo-marinated roast pork, ham and salami. Add the contrast of sour dill pickles, Swiss cheese and mustard. Any way you slice it, it's a damn good sandwich.
2. BEST BAR FOOD
Charann's Bar & Grill
6821 W. Hillsborough Ave.
Tampa 813-886-1199
What, after all, constitutes really great bar food, dude? First of all, it should be salty, to make us thirsty. After that, it should have a good amount of fat, which is widely believed to soak up the alcohol and allow us to drink longer. It should be easy to eat with one hand, leaving the other hand free to hold a drink. And it should, whenever possible, be free, like the free peanuts put on the bar, or the free chicken wings purchased by our friends and passed around to us. All other considerations, like flavor, quality and appearance, we leave to those who can afford to be particular, an affectation we lowly paid scribes can seldom afford. Where do we find the best bar food? Wherever well-heeled friends and fans care to treat us. Where do our readers find the best bar food? At Charann's.
3. BEST SALAD
Sweet Tomatoes
Locations throughout the Tampa Bay area Back in the last century, in the Age of the Salad Bar, most every restaurant was forced to give space to a 10- or 20-foot long display of wilted iceberg lettuce, canned beets, coleslaw and lumpy cottage cheese, past which the rejects from the Jerry Springer show would parade, stuffing their slack jaws with canned peaches and fondling the bake-n-serve rolls with their grubby paws. Those days have passed, thank goodness, and most restaurants have returned to the civilized service of presenting you with a single serving of a well-mixed salad. Of course, a few salad bars hang on, here and there. In fact, our savvy readers voted for a restaurant that consists entirely of one, huge salad bar, Sweet Tomatoes, where the bread and rolls are baked fresh in house, fresh soups are made daily, and the incredible array of salad items are kept spotlessly clean and refreshed every few hours.
4. BEST HAMBURGER
El Cap
3500 Fourth St. N.
St. Petersburg 727-521-1314 If there's one food Americans have taken to heart and made their own, it is surely the hamburger, and for the most part, we're not very picky about how we eat it. Mash it into a miniscule patty, place it on a tiny bun and call it a Krystal burger; we'll eat it. Press it into a square, throw it on a mangled bun, top it with wilted lettuce and a slice of unripe tomato — Hey! Put a Frosty with that, and we'll eat it. Still, some part of us always hankers for hamburgers the way they used to be, hand-shaped into a fat patty, slapped on a sizzling grill and watched over by a bar man who knows just when to flip 'em. Our readers found just this sort of burger at El Cap, the longstanding favorite of people in St. Petersburg — or is that St. Petersburger?
5. BEST MARTINI
Dan Marino's Martini Bar
121 Second Ave. N.
St. Petersburg 727-822-4413
Downtown St. Pete has only recently emerged from 30-some years of stagnation — so recently, that it still amazes us to walk around downtown after dark and see the city bustling with business. It's become a real destination for dining, one that's managed to avoid the Ybor overdependence on drinking. Despite that, our readers found the best martini inside BayWalk, at Dan Marino's Martini Bar, a swank tavern that serves up everything from the classic gin and vermouth with an olive, to variations like the vodka martini with a lemon twist, even dessert martinis like luscious chocolate. The drinks are big, tall and icy cool, just the thing to sip as you sit on the outside patio, nibbling from a list of marvelous munchables as you overlook the ground level shops. If weather threatens, move inside and enjoy the pleasant buzz of a classy neighborhood bar. Just think: nightlife in St. Pete! We'll raise a glass to that!
6. BEST HOT DOG
Mel's Hot Dogs
4136 E. Busch Blvd.
Tampa 813-985-8000
New York has the Statue of Liberty, San Francisco has the Golden Gate Bridge, and Tampa has Mel's Hot Dogs, our own enduring symbol of life, hope and the American dream — or, as Mel himself would say "Tampa! It's a weinerful city! It really cuts the mustard. The rest of Florida is still trying to ketchup to us!" Yes, our readers voted Mel's famous hot dogs the best dogs in the bay, but we suspect that Mel's wacky sense of humor and his rapid-fire delivery of bad puns have endeared him to the hearts of his customers as much as his all-beef hot dogs with all the fixin's. Who could have guessed that this creative guy with a degree in the arts would go on to become the hot dog king of Tampa? "Not me," says Mel, "but I'm not complaining. My business is on a roll! I relish every moment!"
7. BEST FRIED CHICKEN
KFC
Locations throughout the Bay area We'd hoped our readers would cast their vote for the best fried chicken at Heilman's Beachcomber, in Clearwater Beach, where the art of perfect, Southern, pan-fried chicken is still lovingly preserved. Or at Palio's Fried Chicken and Seafood on South MacDill in Tampa, a neighborhood joint that's been churning out great fried chicken for generations. But no, they voted for KFC, a chain whose product has degenerated to the point that the Kentucky Colonel himself, before his death, threw a KFC dinner in a New York city trash bin and declared, "I wouldn't feed this to my hound dog!" We can only guess that our readers' affection for gluey gravy and emaciated chickens is the ultimate result of a Yankee invasion that's virtually wiped real Southern fried chicken and flaky biscuits off our Florida map. Damn, y'all.
8. BEST PIZZA
Cappy's Pizzeria
309 S. Howard Ave.
Tampa 813-254-4948
Ah, pizza, the quintessential comfort food. What is it that makes us love pizza so? Is it the fact that it's equally good hot, for dinner, and cold, for breakfast? Is it the fact that it's so easy to eat? Small children, toothless octogenarians, even drunks can handle the task of eating a slice of pizza just as well as any able-bodied adult. Or does some cosmic force draw us irresistible to the mystical round shape of pizza. Quick, someone call Robert Anton Wilson for an obscure, arcane explanation of how our passion for pizza is all part of some huge Illuminati conspiracy! Our persistent appetite for pizza may be a puzzle, but its no mystery why our readers voted Cappy's Pizzeria the best pizza in Tampa Bay. It's all good.
9. BEST BARBECUE
Fred Fleming's Famous Barbecue
St. Petersburg 727-822-FRED(3733)
Clearwater 727-799-3733
Countryside 727-465-3733
Tampa 813-875-3733
Call Robert Stack. We have an unsolved mystery. If barbecue is one of the best-loved foods in the South, why are there so damn few barbecue places 'round here? Sure, there's our beloved Kojak's on Gandy, smokin' ribs beneath tall oaks dripping with Spanish moss, and McHale's Chop House, doing the uptown thang in SoHo, and here and there a good joint. But with few exceptions, most of Tampa Bay is a vast barbecue wasteland. Guess that's why the folks in the Bay area voted for Fred Fleming's barbecue. They're just so gull-durn happy to have a new barbecue restaurant open up, they're doing everything they can to say "Welcome!" There's plenty of 'cue here of course, from pulled pork, brisket and ribs, to more unusual choices like smoked corned beef and prime rib. Side dishes are good, and we do admire Fred's way with down-home desserts and old-fashioned milkshakes.
10. BEST EGG ROLL,FRESH ROLL OR SPRING ROLL
Ho Ho Restaurant
533 Howard Ave. S.
Tampa 813-254-9557
Gee, we've got so many hos lined up here it's starting to look like Nebraska Avenue. Actually, it's just our readers voting for best egg roll, those crispy logs of crackling won ton skins stuffed with bean sprouts and veggies and dipped in a sweet sauce. You'll find them in abundance at most any Asian restaurant, but our readers' overwhelming choice was for the egg rolls found at HoHo. The word "ho" signifies good, so HoHo egg rolls must be doubly delicious. Personally, we've begun to pass on the calorie-laden egg rolls, and are more inclined to treat ourselves to Vietnamese fresh rolls. A rice paper skin is wrapped around chilled noodles, julienne veggies, a stray shrimp or two and fresh herbs, like mint and basil. Dip the roll in a sweet, spicy, chili hot sauce for a low calorie taste treat.
11. BEST STEAK
Bern's Steak House
1208 S. Howard Ave.
Tampa 813-251-2421
Once upon a time, in Tampa Bay, steak house meant only one thing: Bern's. Then the chains rolled in, and the last couple of years have seen big-name steak houses spring up all over the place, from Ruth's Chris Steak House to Outback. But our readers gave them all a loud raspberry when they gave their votes to Bern's for the best steak. We have to admit — Bern's is a hard act to follow. For years, Bern's has been giving Tampa Bay nothing but the best — purchasing beef from small, controlled herds fed entirely on grass and grain, aging the beef at controlled temperatures, hand-cutting the steaks and preparing them in kitchens where everything revolves around a single goal — serving the best steak to be found anywhere. Executive Chef Jeannie Pierola recommends the bone-in Delmonico. "Bone does incredible things to beef," she tells us. And while it might seem sacrilegious to order fish in the Bay area's best steak house, do check out the seafood menu. When Bern's says "fresh fish," they're serious! Fish are kept alive, in huge aquariums, until you order.
12. BEST SPANISH CAFETERIA
Pipo's Latin Cafe and Catering
238 E. Davis Blvd.
Tampa 813-258-8100
One of the great delights of dining in Tampa is sampling the many Spanish cafeterias, where staples like picadillo, boliche, black beans and white rice, chicken and yellow rice, sweet roast plantains, Russian trout and best of all, mojo-marinated roast pork are served up in heaping big portions for very low-dough prices. We're delighted that our readers share our good opinion of Pipo's, which stands out among Tampa's many Cuban cafeterias as absolutely the best. Pipo's roast pork is without a doubt the most delicious, juicy, melt-in-your mouth meat flavored with a perfectly balanced sweet and sour marinade. Why, just thinking about it makes us want to jump up from our keyboard and run right over there.
13. BEST SMOOTHIES
Xtreme Juice
619 S. Dale Mabry Tampa 813-879-6033
We had our first taste of smoothies in San Francisco then returned to Florida and waited for the idea to catch on here. And waited, and waited and waited. What was taking so long? The idea was a natural for Florida — fruit juice, most often the juice of our own tropical fruits like oranges, mango, papaya or pineapple, was mixed with frozen low-fat yogurt and an assortment of healthy additives from vitamin and protein powders to ginkgo biloba and bee pollen, then popped into a blender with some ice and whipped up into a cool, fruity, smoothie. Some 10 years later, the smoothie tide finally washed ashore in Tampa Bay, and now we find the drink stands everywhere from health food stores to convenience stores. Our readers, however, dig the fruity concoctions at X-Treme Juice.
14. BEST MEAT LOAF
Lenny's
21220 U.S. 19 N
Clearwater 727-799-0402
While our readers are not opposed to enjoying an occasional exotic taste like sushi, and they can be tempted to explore an occasional dish like stuffed, grilled squid, it is, ultimately the old American standbys that really inspire them to pick up their pen and cast a vote for "the best." In this case, we asked them to vote for the classic comfort food, meat loaf. We're not talking about some nouvelle interpretation with veal and imported mushrooms. We're talking about the kind of meat loaf that Mom pulled from the oven, sliced up and slid onto a plate next to a heaping mound of mashed potatoes, and whatever canned vegetables she had in the cupboard; creamed corn was the family favorite, but peas or plain corn would do in a pinch. Our readers say that if Mom's kitchen is closed, the next best place to eat meat loaf is at Lenny's.
15. BEST DEVILED CRAB
La Tropicana Cafe
1822 Seventh Ave.
Tampa 813-247-4040
It's eerie; you can drive for hundreds of miles, through St. Petersburg, across Seminole, Largo, into Clearwater, down to Tarpon Springs and never see a single sign for deviled crab. Then you take a turn toward Tampa and suddenly every little sandwich shack and Cuban cafeteria on Boliche Boulevard has a banner out front proclaiming "Deviled Crabs!" Yes, like Cuban sandwiches and chicken with yellow rice, deviled crabs are an essential part of Tampa's historically Hispanic table. Crab meat is blended with breadcrumbs and spices, and then either stuffed into tiny, truncated crab shells or formed into logs to make a spicy dish that's eaten out of hand. Although they're often eaten with meals, most people use them as grab-and-go fast food, as portable and easy to eat as a hot dog. Our readers say the best place to grab deviled crabs is at Ybor's own La Tropicana Cafe, where they're spiced just right.
16. BEST CHICKEN WINGS
Hooters
Locations throughout the Bay area
The continued popularity of fried chicken wings still escapes us. Like the Jerry Springer show, we find them greasy, fatty, bony and devoid of substance. Still, our readers love 'em, and they love 'em best at Hooters, the bar that took America's fascination with breast tissue and made a franchise out of it. If you crave bodacious tatas with your burgers, if you need hoohas with your hot dogs, if your idea of the perfect condiment is a face full of tits with your tater tots, then Hooters is the place for you, my man. What makes Hooters' chicken wings such a favorite with our readers? It's the sauce and the sides. Chicken wings may be ordered medium, mild or hot, and come served with you choice of a big eyeful of melons, jugs, headlights, knockers, water wings or bazoomas. (Blue cheese is extra.)
17. BEST CHEAP EATS
La Teresita
3246 Columbus Drive W., Tampa 813-879-4909
8218 Hanley Road, Town N Country 813-888-8988
7101 66th St., Pinellas Park 727-447-4240
We were afraid this category would pull in all sorts of votes for the hot dogs at Circle K or worse yet, the reduced-price day old donuts at the Donut Connection (All the fat, none of the flavor. Buy 'em by the bagful!) But our readers are a wise and savvy lot when it comes to getting great food for just a few bucks. They voted for La Teresita, one of Tampa's oldest and best-known Spanish cafes. It's the kind of place where a fellow with just a few dollars in his pocket can always turn to for a full meal that can carry him through the workday. Readers flock here for heaping plates of yellow rice and saffron-flavor chicken, black bean soup and good Cuban bread, roast pork and all the other best-loved Tampa Spanish dishes.
18. BEST BREAKFAST — Tie
Lenny's
21220 U.S. 19 N.
Clearwater 727-799-0402
and * Yanny's
1258 S. Highland Ave.
Clearwater 727-446-5797
There was a tie for best breakfast, and judging by our readers' picks, it seems the best place in Tampa Bay to be eating breakfast is Clearwater, home of both Lenny's and Yanny's. We've eaten at both and have come to appreciate Lenny's kitschy deli atmosphere, with big, fresh bagels toasted crisp and golden, and schmeared with melted butter. Pair one up with a fluffy omelet and you've got a breakfast that really gets your day off to a good start. Yanny's, of course, is the home of Yannis Piotoyannakis, the French Toast King. Yanny's French toast is like nothing you've ever seen or tasted, an indescribably deliciously thick toast with the delicate texture of a crepe. Pair it with a pint of his healthy, homemade yogurt, carefully cultured from the whole milk of cows that never receive antibiotics or hormones, and you've got a breakfast that's both healthy and yummy.
19. BEST COFFEE SHOP
Starbucks Coffee Co.
Locations all over God's Green Earth
While the Bay area hasn't yet reached Seattle status, with a ratio of one coffee shop and one bookstore per every 12 people, we have made tremendous strides, and tiny, independent coffee shops, from The Globe to Infinity, have sprung up, giving neighborhoods a friendly, nonalcoholic place to socialize as well as get a great cup of java. We're not surprised our readers picked Starbucks for best coffee in a poll that counts quantity rather than quality. After all, what single, tiny independent could hope to serve the number of people who visit Starbucks' multiple outlets every month? Then, too, there's what we refer to as the "reverse Cheers! Syndrome." Instead of drinking at a place where everybody knows your name, we seem to prefer drinking at a place whose name everybody knows. Starbucks, for those who live in chains and love 'em.
20. BEST ICE CREAM
Marble Slab Creamery
2569 Countryside Blvd.
Clearwater 727-669-3794
and
10500 Ulmerton Road, Suite 366
Largo 727-587-0353
Our readers voted for the ice cream at Marble Slab. We guess that just goes to show that the best ice cream is the kind you create yourself. Yes, that's right. The whole shtick at Marble Slab is letting you design your own ice cream flavor. An attendant puts a big scoop of vanilla ice cream on a cold marble slab, then mixes in whatever ingredients you choose. If chocolate chunk-walnut is your thing, she'll sprinkle scoops of chocolate chunks and walnuts over the ice cream, lift and fold it until the ingredients are all mixed in, then scoop it all up into a cone or a cup.
21. BEST VEGETARIAN
Evos
609 S. Howard Ave.
Tampa 813-258-3867
The first time we ate at Evos, we couldn't believe it — fast food that was healthy and tasty? It seemed like a dream come true. It's no surprise that our readers agree, voting it their best choice for vegetarian meals. The vegetarian chili is so zippy, so tasty, so chock full of goodies, you'll marvel that there's no meat in it. Fruit smoothies are blended with frozen juice cubes, rather than ice, to keep them undiluted and full of flavor. And the air-fired potato fries will amaze you — all the fun and flavor of fast-food fries, without all that fat. Best of all, all this food is available the way we really need it, fresh, fast and ready for takeout to our all-purpose dining room, family room, leisure time facility and storage locker — our car.
22. BEST BAKERY
Publix
Locations throughout the Bay area
Our first visit to a Publix, many years ago, came with a lesson in culture shock. At the entrance stood two young men, clearly agitated, loudly expressing themselves in something other than English. Recognizing them as tourists (read "the lifeblood of our economy") we rushed to help. Their consternation came from the sign reading "Publix Danish Bakery." Turned out the gentlemen were from Denmark and had entered seeking a taste of home. "It's a lie!" they exclaimed. "There's not a single thing which is Danish in here!" Publix has long since dropped the appellation, and we suspect that today even visitors from Denmark might join our readers in voting Publix "best bakery." Our readers no doubt appreciate the vast variety of fresh baked breads, cakes, pies, pastries and party delights available every day, as well as the friendly, helpful staff.
23. BEST GROUPER SANDWICH
Frenchy's Cafe
41 Baymont St.
Clearwater 727-446-3607
There's nothing, absolutely nothing, so characteristically Floridian as a great grouper sandwich. Not lawn flamingos, not alligator farms, not even old men wearing Bermuda shorts with black socks — nothing. They're available nearly everywhere. We all eat them. And they're nearly all delicious. Our readers gave their vote to the version served at Frenchy's on Clearwater Beach, where the grouper is guaranteed fresh every day because the restaurant mini-empire has its own fishing boats, which travel far out into the Gulf waters to bring home the best deepwater grouper. The fish are cleaned, filleted and on the grill almost before their mama knows they're gone.
24. BEST APPETIZERS
Chili's
Locations throughout the Bay area
Gee, if you'd asked us, we'd have said we found the best appetizers in the whole Bay area on the pupu platter at the New City Diner, 1002 N. Himes Ave., in Tampa, where uber-chef Roger Lenzi uses recycled prison cafeteria trays to serve an eclectic assortment of delicious finger foods — a surprise in every compartment! But our readers gave their vote to Chili's, where they gobble up Asian lettuce wraps filled with grilled, Asian-spiced chicken and veggies with a sesame, ginger and peanut dipping sauce, as well as boneless, Buffalo-style chicken wings, fried Mozzarella sticks with marinara sauce, chicken fajita platters and Southwestern-flavored egg rolls. Chili's claims its most popular appetizer is its Awesome Blossom®, a colossal onion, sliced, battered and fried. Yeah. That's original.
25. BEST MILKSHAKE
Steak N Shake — Locations throughout the Bay area
Second Choice — The Old Meeting House
901 S. Howard Ave.
Tampa 813-254-0567
The readers' poll was pretty close when it came to picking who makes the best milkshake, so let's give a tip of the hat to both contenders. Of all the fast food locations that serve milkshakes, we like Steak N Shake best, for using real ice cream, not just a chalky, powdered mix. And we like The Old Meeting House for its commitment to quality and sense of tradition. Their homemade ice cream is still the same as it's been for the last 50 years, and you can still have a great, hand-dipped milkshake in any flavor you want, from chocolate to lemon cream. Best of all, they still bring you a glass and the metal mixing cup, so you don't miss out on a single drop of this good, homemade milkshake. It's a piece of Tampa's past that's been deliciously preserved for your enjoyment today.
26. BEST BLACK BEANS AND RICE
Deli News Cafe
680 Main St.
Dunedin 727-735-0505
Black beans. White rice. As simple and unsophisticated a combination as you can imagine, and yet this dish has reached across the cultural chasms to call people of every ethnicity, of every social, cultural and economic background to come together at the table. Once a staple of the Cuban table, today black beans and white rice, and its sister serving, black bean soup, is enjoyed in every corner of Tampa Bay, regardless of whether the cook came from Cuba, Connecticut or Katmandu. We're glad we didn't have to choose a "best" because we like it every place we eat it. While you're there, check out the homemade rice pudding too.
27. BEST CAFE CON LECHE
La Teresita,
3246 Columbus Drive W. Tampa 813-879-4909
8218 Hanley Road, Town N Country 813-888-8988
7101 66th St., Pinellas Park 727-447-4240
For those who've recently moved here from Sioux Falls, South Dakota, and don't know from cafe con leche, let us explain. Its literal translation is "coffee with milk." But don't be thinking about the cup of coffee with a splash of milk that Doris used to pour you down at the old Donut Hole Cafe. Cafe con leche begins with a shot of Cuban coffee, preferably prepared in the drip method, through a cloth filter, rather than force steamed the way espresso is done. Then heated milk is mixed in almost equal parts with the coffee. Then it has to be served in the company of a dozen Cuban men, as they hash over the affairs of the day, from city hall to their own neighborhood. The camaraderie of Cubans is, of course, an integral part of the flavor, which is why our readers voted for La Teresita, as the best cafe con leche.
28. BEST DELI
Publix
Locations throughout the Bay area
If you haven't shopped at one of the nine flagship Publix locations, you may not understand how this food store could win our readers' vote for best deli. But if you've visited one of its superstores, you probably voted for them yourself. Publix has put itself way ahead of the pack of local food chains when it comes to the quality and variety of its offerings in the deli, where customers can chose from a tremendous assortment of meats ready to slice, including the premium Boars Head brand. Why, they even have real Parma prosciutto, an item we never thought to see outside the cases of a few Italian markets. Add in a huge selection of ready-to-go cold salads and side dishes, even sushi made on site, and you've got a pretty good deli for drive-in, dash-home dinners.
29. BEST OUTDOOR DINING
Moon Under Water
332 Beach Drive N.E.
St. Petersburg 727-896-6160
Before we moved to Tampa Bay, we dreamed of tropical sunsets and cozy seats at beachside bars, where palm trees rustled overhead as we sipped ice cold beer and peeled big, pink shrimp. What a disappointment, then, to discover that the art of outdoor dining had virtually disappeared from these shores. Thank God it's beginning to creep back, and more and more places are providing outdoor decks, patios and plazas. We love them all, from the open air — yet still air-conditioned — waterfront patio at The Island Grill in Clearwater to the intimate garden patio that gives The Garden its name. Our readers gave their vote to Moon Under Water, where they sit at umbrella tables and sip cold brewskies as they watch the parade of traffic meandering down Beach Drive.
30. BEST NEW RESTAURANT
Island Way Grill
20 Island Way
Clearwater 727-461-6617
It's no surprise our readers voted Island Way Grill the best new restaurant in Tampa Bay. From the moment it opened, this place has been packed with people eager to enjoy true Florida ambiance. Big, open rooms and an air-conditioned, outdoor deck overlook the waterway. Inside, you're paraded past food, from the raw bar and the wood-fired grill to the sushi bar and its tantalizing display of oh-so-fresh denizens of the deep. Order up a cool drink or a fine wine from the glass-wall wine cellar, then dive into a dish of wood-fire-roasted salmon or lobster, or bite into a juicy slab of beef steak kissed with the smoky taste of the grill. Try it once, and you'll know why our readers rave.
31. BEST WAIT STAFF
Lenny's
21220 U.S. 19 N.
Clearwater 727-799-0402
Let us admit, right off the bat, that we think every server, every waiter, every waitress, every hostess and every barkeep in the entire Tampa Bay areas deserves a big round of applause just for putting up with us. We are, by all accounts, a rude, demanding lot of incredibly bad tippers who deserve nothing better than being locked up in the monkey house and having bananas thrown at us. That said, let's get to the main course — our readers gave a huge thumbs up (and we hope, great tips) to the wait staff at Lenny's, who they proclaim, are always cheerful, swift, efficient, patient and friendly. Best of all, they keep your coffee cup full.
32. BEST PAD THAI
Sukhothai
8201 N. Dale Mabry
Tampa 813-933-7990
and
2569 Countryside Blvd., Suite 3
In the Countryside Village
Clearwater 727-724-2995
My, oh my. What a long way noodles — and we — have come. Once upon a time, the only way we found noodles served in Tampa Bay was in that Italian-American classic, spaghetti and meatballs. Then noodles became "pasta" and we found it being blended with all sorts of infused oils and fresh vegetables. And now, thanks to an influx of immigration from Asia, we're eating noodles cold or hot, plain or fried, with sauces made of chilies, peanuts, herbs and fermented fish. Pad Thai, the quintessential dish of Thailand, has been embraced by Tampa Bay as its favorite Asian dish. The basic flavor profile of pad Thai is sweet, salty, sour and hot. The basic formula for pad Thai starts with rice noodles and a sauce made of fish sauce, palm sugar, sour tamarind sauce and some red stuff, from chili paste with garlic to plain ketchup. The noodles are mixed with the sauce, some eggs are mixed in, and then the dish is sprinkled with bean sprouts, scallions, ground roasted peanuts and a squeeze of lime juice. Of course, every Thai cook tinkers with the basics to make the dish their own.
33. BEST SUSHI
Joto Japanese Restaurant
310 S. Dale Mabry, Tampa 813-875-4842
905 Lithia-Pinecrest Road, Brandon 813-684-0221
2549 Countryside Blvd. Clearwater 727-796-2022
Joto was one of the first restaurants in Tampa Bay to offer sushi and sashimi, along with the usual tempura, teriyaki and sukiyaki. (And now the Brandon location offers teppen yaki; i.e., tableside cooking). It's developed a loyal following of fans who voted it one of Tampa Bay's best. Of course, if you're still among the uninitiated, you may think "sushi" and "best" don't belong in the same sentence under any circumstances. All we can say is, remember the first time you saw your parents kissing? Pretty yukky, right? And your own first taste of someone else's tongue probably didn't lead to any rave reviews about spit swapping. But you persevered, and now it's something you indulge in frequently. So maybe, just maybe, you want to give sushi a chance.
34. BEST PASTA
Carrabba's Italian Grill
Locations throughout the Bay area
If you've ever seen the overflowing parking lots that surround every Carrabba's, then it's probably no surprise to see that our readers voted it their favorite place to eat pasta. While our own taste buds turn toward the perfectly prepared and authentically Italian pastas served at Pulcinella, Alfredino's or Caffe Italia, we applaud the fact that Carrabba's is at least the first chain restaurant to take a step away from the heavy Italian-American dishes like spaghetti and meatballs. It offers a trendy taste of lighter pasta dishes.
FUN
35. BEST CHEAP DATE
The Beach
Not Apollo, Pass-a-Grille, Sunset or Clearwater. No, Weekly Planet readers elected "The Beach" as in anything that has the requisite sand and salt water — such as my toilet after we return home from the beach with sand in our trunks. We think we even have a couple of pretty shells decorating the upper deck of the toilet. Used to anyway. But what we can't help you with is the obligatory washed-up crustaceans, dead fish, seaweed, cigarette butts and annoying sea gulls pestering you for chips, though we're always in the market for sour cream and onion, if you're holdin'. A distant second was an equally generic "The Movies." No specific theater, film, or matinee showing. Heck, you and your date could kill two gulls with one stone and rent The Beach, the 2000 movie based on the Alex Garland novel, starring Leonardo DiCaprio.
36. BEST BEACH BAR
Frenchy's Rockaway Grill
7 Rockaway St.
Clearwater Beach 727-446-4844
What do Weekly Planet readers want with their Budweisers, grouper sandwiches and Frenchy fries? Apparently, lots of cheesecake. Not the rich cake, but rather cheesecake in your grandfather's sense of the word — half-naked girls. We say let them eat cheesecake. The crowded deck of Frenchy's affords a fine vantage point. Fortunately, we can't think of any foods that double as cutesy terms for guys showing off their, uh, hotdogs in bathing suits best suited for the Mediterranean.
37. BEST SPORTS BAR
Beef O'Brady's
Locations throughout the Bay area
Beef "O'Brady's. What a symmetrical name that is. Has been since its 1985 birth. Symmetry is important in nature, and it may play a role in being the best sports bar. In the sexually charged realm of human nature, the more symmetrical a human face, the more attractive a mate may find it. In the absence of symmetry, one may look like that lopsided witch Shannen Dougherty, who has to compensate by being photographed with her head tilted. Fortunately, Beef "O'Brady's doesn't have to worry about that, and instead can focus its attention on serving beer as patrons watch sports on TV or maybe indulge in a little video poker.
38. BEST GAY BAR
Suncoast Resort Hotel
3000 34th St. S.
St. Petersburg 727-867-1111
The Suncoast bills itself as "world's largest all-gay resort & entertainment complex" and we cannot dispute that. Weekly Planet readers certainly don't. For the second consecutive year, the 2-year-old Suncoast has won over the hearts and crotches of Planet readers. From the "Sexiest Body Contest" every Sunday to "Twisted Charity Bingo with Trudi" on Tuesdays to "Fetish Night" demonstrations every Thursday, the Suncoast offers many an amusement possibility. The refurbished former Holiday Inn boasts six bars and two restaurants on the premises, along with the 120 rooms and suites. There are two white-sand volleyball courts, a heated pool and nine tennis courts. The Suncoast also has a shopping mall catering to gays and lesbians. Visit the Suncoast Eagle bar on the first Friday of every month when the Tampa Bay Bondage Club hosts a beer bust from 10 p.m. until 1:30 a.m.
39. BEST WOMYN'S BAR
La Femme Buvette
1320 E. Ninth Ave.
Ybor City 813-247-9966
When its doors do swing back open for Tampa Bay area lesbians, La Femme Buvette provides the best local scene for mingling and dancing, according to Planet readers. But that is too rare an occasion at the bar that replaced the Cherokee Club. La Femme Buvette, "the women's bar" en français, is upstairs above Cafe Creole. It's only open one night a week from 9 p.m. to 3 a.m. Get there early on Saturdays when La Femme Buvette features drink specials from 9 to 11. Stay late for stage shows at midnight and 1:30. Look for periodic drag-king shows as well. La Femme Buvette describes itself as "girl bar-boy friendly."
40. BEST BARTENDER
Karl
The Castle
2004 16th St. N.
Ybor City 813-247-7547
"The guy from NPR?" you're wondering. That would be Carl Kassel. The downstairs denizens of The Castle get their drinks served over the bar-moat from Karl, who a source reveals, is a real high-wire act, a drink-throwing comedian known for his Red Bull and vodka concoctions. He has a bird's eye view of both the underground and the champagne set because when he's done lunching with high-end clients at his day job, he's serving drinks to the spooky kids going about their nocturnal missions.
41. BEST ROMANTIC GETAWAY
Don CeSar Beach Resort & Spa
3400 Gulf Blvd.
St. Pete Beach 727-360-1881
The only reason the Don CeSar beat out St. Augustine for best romantic getaway is because 11 more of you voted for it. Here is our specious reasoning as to why you horndog, lecherous, Gumby-mounting-Pokey readers selected The Don: It is a resolutely pink monolith, and we all know from babyhood pink is a feminine color. The pink hotel abuts the blue Gulf of Mexico, and we also dimly recall from babyhood that blue is, like, the symbol for masculinity. Pink = Woman. Blue = Man. Or maybe you chose The Don because you don't want to drive cross state to get laid.
42. BEST DAY TRIP
Busch Gardens
Busch Boulevard and 30th Street
Tampa 813-987-5082
Not to come down on you too hard, readers, but sometimes you can be very, very stupid. You took a break from writing acid letters to the editor calling us stupid — only to elect Busch Gardens way up on Busch Boulevard as the Best Day Trip. Montu may have rattled your brain stems a few too many times if you think a 20, 30-minute drive, tops, constitutes a day trip. Cassadaga, Daytona, Cape Canaveral — those are day trips. Hey, next day trip, let's go to Fort De Soto, which in a photo finish, came in second with one less vote from you boxes of rockses.
43. BEST BEACH
Clearwater Beach
Well, the readers have spake. 115 votes for Clearwater Beach! 115 votes for idling on Memorial Causeway, nuts melting, bikini soaked before you hit the beach! 115 votes for Frankenboobies! 115 votes for sand in your crotch! 115 votes for melanoma! OK, enough joykilling: Clearwater Beach is a fine, upstanding young beach, full of sand and water and fish and, heck, it's just plain fun to watch sunburned tourists strap themselves to parachutes and get dragged behind boats.
*44. BEST COMEDY CLUB
The Improv Comedy Theater and Restaurant
1600 E. Eighth Ave.
Ybor City 813-864-4000
Amazing! It's like we're thinking the same thoughts. Tuned in, sharing a vision, surfing the same wave, gettin' down to the same groove. Look closely and you won't find too many duplicate categories in this year's Best of the Bay issue, but Best Comedy Club is one of them. And you brilliant people, like those (ahem) in the Planet offices, have also been hipped to the crazy-insane, laugh-till-your-lungs-explode good times and vibes of the Improv. We couldn't be more pleased. Rather than read a redundant entry, skip on over to the Planet's glowing review of Tampa Bay's newest laugh lounge. (And since the Improv accommodates 500-plus people at a pop, we'll probably see you there.)
45. BEST PICKUP JOINT
Bar Tampa
1401 E. Seventh Ave.
Ybor City 813-248-3422
This ought to settle the Ford vs. Chevrolet debate once and for all. The best pickup joint is none other than Ybor City's Bar Tampa, according to survey takers. We wanted to say "according to those polled," but we didn't get to poll anyone. Would you like us to poll you, to slip you our long, hard poll? Of course you would. Who wouldn't like to poll someone special? That's why we're going to Bar Tampa, where lots of people are looking to get polled, apparently. Tied for second: The Castle and New York, New York.
46. BEST KARAOKE
Good Time Charlie's
4030 W. Waters Ave.
Tampa 813-881-1735 Bring that beat back! Singers and readers alike love this west Tampa establishment for its karaoke, which they can get a fix of seven freaking nights a week, from 9:30 a.m. till closing (3 a.m.). If you can sing or warble spiritedly (accent on the spirits), can read and have a penchant for showmanship — or making a jackass of yourself — this is the place for you.
47. BEST BOWLING ALLEY
Pinarama
5008 S. Dale Mabry
Tampa 813-835-7665 While Pinarama could suffer a complex for its shortage of lanes (16), it doesn't seem to be showing any signs of Little Man Syndrome. It's just out for '50s kitsch-cool, with an assortment of bowling balls and beers clearly saying strike, not spare, to the Planet's readers, who in fact are all a bunch of turkeys (in the bowling sense of the term) in our eyes.
48. BEST DANCE CLUB
The Castle
2004 16th St. N.
Ybor City 813-247-7547
Ah, The Castle, olde-time Ybor staple, where it is Halloween all year long. Yeah, it's kinda ironic, buried in the shadows of sparkly new HCC-Ybor and Centro Ybor, but once you step inside this lair and wander among its denizens, it's like you walked in on the Road Warrior crew after they took a trip to Outback Steakhouse for 10-too-many Foster's, then went to the mall for a Spencer's Gifts makeover and got in a brawl at Piercing Pagoda in an ugly nipple-piercing dispute. Unlike those post-apocalyptic nomads in the sunny Outback, though, no worries of basal cell carcinoma for these pale-faces. Riding the Mad Max metaphor down the dirty back road even longer, Sunday night reverses the standard Thunderdome chant, to wit: "One man enters, two men leave," if you catch our drift. Monday means Old Wave night, with tunes from Depeche Mode, The Cure, Jesus and Mary Chain and the like, attracting more aging hipsters than a WMNF help wanted ad. Rub elbows in the downstairs bar and yours will probably get wet — that dang bar-moat has soaked more elbows than a minor league pitcher on the downhill slide.
49. BEST HAPPY HOUR
Chili's
Multiple identical locations
Bars in corporate restaurants still suck! Oh, wait, this just in: Bars in corporate restaurants don't suck anymore! That is, according to the Readers' Poll. Seriously, though: Do bars in corporate restaurants swallow?
50. BEST PLACE FOR INLINE SKATING
Bayshore Boulevard
Tampa
Bayshore Boulevard is far ahead of the Pinellas Trail and inlining into the scenic distance, according to readers. See it skating away, that hottie Bayshore, with its toned quadriceps and high hindquarters and muscled calves and smooth, tan skin. We can hardly stand to look at her — truly, a thing of science and beauty. Oh, shit! She just got hit by an SUV! Bayshore is down, folks. But, wait: Bayshore is up again, skating through the exhaust clouds into that blurry heated sunset. Hooray for Bayshore, even though it is too good to even look at us, to smile our way now and again, return our calls, cancel the restraining order. We root for her nonetheless, applauding her every accomplishment. Confidential to the Pinellas Trail: You loser!
51. BEST GUERRILLA SKATEBOARD SPOT
Skatepark of Tampa
4215 E. Columbus Drive
Tampa 813-621-6793
"Duh, I sey dat duh muscly gorilla skaturs at deh skat pahr meens it is deh best gorilla skatur place. I do indede." That's the collective inner logic (work with me here) of whoever voted the Skatepark of Tampa Best Guerrilla Skateboard Spot. To get at the intent of this category, we must consult the dictionary definition of guerrilla, which in part reads, "small bands in occupied territory to harass and undermine an enemy." Now, kids at skateparks can be territorial little pricks, true, but hardly are they the enemy. Meanwhile, skating downtown, where it is illegal, skaters may encounter uniformed law enforcers who ticket at-will and will even cuff you under threat of a ride downtown (don't worry, it'll be a short trip), thus making downtown eligible to be a Guerrilla Spot. But, whatever.
52. BEST AFTER-HOURS HANG
Denny's
Locations throughout the Bay area
There's only one hub for after-hours gang-hanging, and according to our readers, it's Denny's, where there is no jukebox, no colorful bartender, precious little bathroom graffiti and absolutely no brain-splitting mixed drinks. However, the $1.99 Grand Slam, with two pieces of sausage and bacon, is the grand slamminest, jamminest, butteriffic breakfast this side of Cap'n Crunch.
53. BEST PICKUP BASKETBALL
Kate Jackson Park
821 S. Rome Ave
Tampa 813-259-1608
No offense, citysearch.com, but you suck. "A recent $1-million renovation of Kate Jackson Park added a fountain and gorgeous additions to what was a run-down playground and basketball court," says the Web site. WTF do you mean by just a run-down basketball court? Here's what you mean: The contrived wannabe-urban-sophistication of Hyde Park Village and the nearby "SoHo" food strict (gimme a break) has spread like kudzu into the park. And our upwardly mobile (it's easier to dunk that way) readers love it! But what's up with frontin' on the realest, street-credibilliest playground, yo? You pass by here again, citysearch.com, you better bring your posse. 'Cause we gonna throw.
54. BEST FISHING SPOT
The Skyway
Ain't no fish getting through from the Gulf to the Bay (or vice-versa) without Planet readers trying to rassle them in. What remains of the old bridge makes for a handy, accessible fishing hole with a completely different kind of nightlife than you normally look for in these pages. Mullets abound, let's just say, and leave it at that.
MUSIC
55. BEST ORIGINAL BAND
The Gita
They didn't score the BEST SELF-PROMOTING BAND critic's award for their rugged good looks. Pinellas County's white-funk mercenaries have made a name for themselves by eschewing the standard local-scene showcase bills in favor of taking it to the masses via all-night residencies anywhere regular folks congregate. And judging by the rather large ballot gap between The Gita and runners-up Soul System, either this strategy is paying off big time or all of their fans are ambidextrous sufferers of multiple-personality disorders. (See, this is where having a following that largely comprises guys and gals in other bands really tends to suck — you voted for yourself, so what the hell did you think they were gonna do?) By plying their unpretentious, good-time style outside the confines of the clique, these merry pranksters got their name into more than enough heads to secure the win.
56. BEST BLUES/R&B Band
The Gita
See BEST ORIGINAL BAND. See BEST COVER BAND. Did we mention that The Gita was our critics' pick for this year's BEST SELF-PROMOTING BAND, and that we had our reasons? (Seriously, the readers' poll results weren't even in at the time.) While their danceable style definitely carries elements of R&B, referring to 'em as a blues band might be stretching things a bit. The Gita is starting to look like all things to all people, or at least to a large portion of that contingent courteous enough to spend seven minutes on the old fill 'n' mail. The more traditional blues outfit Blue Dice hung right in there for a photo finish, ending up just two votes shy of necessitating our Sudden Death policy (you don't even want to know).
57. BEST COVER BAND
The Gita Apparently, the downside of The Gita's modus operandi consists of people thinking that those groovy, catchy, booty-infiltrating jams couldn't possibly be originals. In the plethora of times we've seen 'em, they probably tossed out a cumulative total of less than 10 covers. But whatever, the people have spoken, and The Gita is their choice. The band's versions of "Hit Me Baby One More Time" and "Brick House" are pretty much reason enough right there, anyway. This one was a bit tighter — venerable circuit stalwarts Big Brother and Clearwater All-Stars tied for second-place honors.
58. BEST ACOUSTIC ACT
The Gita
What a surprise. No, really, we're stunned.
59. BEST SINGER/SONGWRITER
Joran Oppelt/The Gita
Funky Caucasian Oppelt edges out perennial Bay favorite Dave Hardin to complete the sweep — The Gita won everything they could rationally be considered for, and at least one thing they probably couldn't have been. I wonder what would've happened if we'd had categories for BEST SAXOPHONIST, BEST SARCASTIC KEYBOARD PLAYER, BEST FORMER KYMMYSTRY MEMBER, and BEST DRUMMER (SMALL TO MEDIUM)? Hmmmmm. Like most awards hoo-haws, we give out some of those less-noteworthy awards that kind of fly under the radar. So under the radar, in fact, that we usually don't mention them. But we thought you'd be glad to know that, in addition to these biggies, The Gita also took top honors for BEST KLEZMER BAND (TRADITIONAL), BEST KLEZMER BAND (CONTEMPORARY), BEST COFFEEHOUSE PERFORMANCE BY A DUO OR GROUP, BEST APPALAICHAN OCCULT TROUPE, BEST DEATH METAL BAND (AMERICAN), and, of course, BEST ONSTAGE PRONUNCIATION OF "AW-YEAH."
60. BEST JAZZ BAND
The Gita
Well, this is quite enough, thank you. Calling The Gita a jazz band is like calling Bad Brains a reggae act, but we all know how confusing the presence of a saxophone player can be. Sheesh. Well, now you know for sure what those Planet readers who can afford stamps do on Friday — they go to Limey's. The Buster Cooper Quartet acquits itself nobly with a second-place finish.
61. BEST SMALL LIVE MUSIC VENUE
Skipper's Smokehouse
Skipper Road & Nebraska Avenue
Tampa 813-971-0666
It's outside. It's roomy, with a friendly feel. It gives good PA. But that's not enough, your ballots screamed — you want it all, and in this case, that also includes stylistic diversity and great food, as opposed to covers, originals that sound like covers, and jalapeño poppers that might actually be scallops. A wise old rock star once said that a serious band should never play anywhere good grub is served, and Skipper's seems to be the exception to the rule. Who remembers Johnny G. Lyon dropping his guitar and ending a set early with the phrase, "I gotta eat?" Or Joe Popp, then fronting Dogs on Ice, leading a chant for "more punk rock at Skipper's"? From DoI to the Reverend Billy C. Wirtz to Halcyon to Dash Rip Rock and back again, the venue has hosted it all, and will continue to do so. And if you just can't get into the kick-off-your-shoes-and-dance-in-the-sand thing, there's plenty of shadowy bar space for lofty brooding, too.
62. BEST LARGE LIVE MUSIC VENUE
Jannus Landing
16 Second St. N.
St. Petersburg 727-896-1244
The venue that took second place for Best Small Live Music Venue takes first place in the large-venue category. Hmmmm. Obviously you love the place, and though we wouldn't really consider this sacred block of downtown St. Pete a "large venue" (the runner-up in this category was the Ice Palace), it's unarguably one of the best spots, of any size, to see a show in the Bay area. If anything, it's kind of a transition hall — your last chance to see a favored live act up close, before the crowds and ticket prices rise, and the intimacy quotient drops accordingly. Of course, this year the stage at Jannus has seen a lot of wear from artists sliding down the other side of the fame parabola, as well …
63. BEST CLUB DJ
Dave Aux
This one received the fewest total votes among music-oriented categories. Which is by no means a slight to top spinner Dave Aux or second-place man DJ Bamboo. Do club DJs garner fans, cultivate e-mailout lists, pimp their gigs while hanging out during another DJ's set? Do they get groupies, or have girlfriends that eye their turntables with a certain irrational jealousy? Seriously, we want to know. Do they sneak beer into the club in equipment cases? Do they dream of bigger and bigger clubs — or is it just a gig? Do they tailor their styles to keep up with the cutting edge? God, there's so much we've got to learn. Somebody ought to make a movie.
64. BEST INSTRUMENTALIST
Joe Terrana/The Gita
They nearly managed to sneak this one by; put another hash mark up by our Best Self-Promotional Band's name. We didn't offer a "Best Saxophonist" entry, but it's cool, because The Gita's Joe Terrana also provides flute, pennywhistle and backing vocals for the band. Terrana's also an accomplished composer, by the way. Piano prodigy and recent FSU graduate Oksana Kolesnekova, who won her scholarship as part of Florida State's Young Artists Symposium program, was your runner-up.
65. BEST OUTDOOR VENUE
Jannus Landing
16 Second St. N.
St. Petersburg 727-896-1244
It's "the Gita of concert venues." Logically, then, one might conclude that when The Gita play there, time and space will align perfectly in crystalline uniform, providing the perfectly distilled essence of our reality. Then, and only then, will you get a free drink out of Jack's liquor vendors. And probably not even then.
66. BEST PUNK BAND
Mitchell
http://mitchell.iscool.net
Three teens came blasting out of New Port Richey to capture the hearts and minds of however many people voted for them. Chums since grade school, the trio has refined the sloppy, bouncy hard-pop of their pubescence into, um, the sloppy, bouncy hard-pop of their adolescence. The band's Web site bio tells a classic tale of friendship and boredom, while their catchy-ass tune "I'm Never Washing This Hand Again" (available for download from mp3.com) reveals a bit of tasty, Green Day-reminiscent songage executed with youthful, sarcastic enthusiasm. In other words, they've got a pretty cool pop-punk thing going on. Oldsmar's aptly named Race to Win scored the runner-up position, on the strength of some fast, melodic hardcore and what's rumored to be a manic live set.
67. BEST METAL BAND
Crossbreed
The latest Bay area act to rise to national prominence, Crossbreed may have been swept into the majors on a wave of shiite soundalike nu-metal; what got them into jockeying position, however, was that they were offering something a little different. There was also the little matter of 500 kids going to see 'em every time they played, but the latter can definitely be attributed to the former. By combining elements of rave culture, groovecore and the Goth/industrial aesthetic, they bring all of the disenfranchised youth cliques together, then provide them with one hell of a live spectacle. Cargo shorts and eyebrow rings are great and all, but luminescent renegade cyborgs will always beat 'em in the eye-candy department, you know? The songs are pretty good, too. Funk-rock conglomerate Soul System, a band that's about as metal as, oh, I don't know, the Chili Peppers, somehow copped second here. It's great to see the group getting some notoriety; nonetheless, your genre associations leave us … unsettled.
ARTS
68. BEST POET
Kelly Timm Nobody who does or has done event listings for this paper can recall a local poet named Kelly Timm, but that didn't stop Kelly Timm from besting Poetry on the Edge hostess and poetess Diana Browning by 21 votes! Hey, far be it from us to accuse Kelly and his or her friends of ballot stuffing. It's a little strange and disconcerting, though, that Kelly bested such accomplished, respected and legit poets as Phyllis McEwen, Peter Meinke and even Tampa's Poet Laureate (do we really even need to say James Tokley's name anymore?). Maybe Kelly does most of his or her readings in the poetic sounding Land O' Lakes area.
69. BEST AUTHOR
Lynn Homan and Tom Reilly
At first glance, it appears Homan and Reilly tied for first place. That can and does happen, and it can be a neat coincidence if you're dorky like us. But, in this case, these two have co-written numerous historical books for Arcadia Publishing on such local and regional subjects as Mount Dora, Citrus County, the Tuskegee Airmen, Key West and Pan Am, among others. A close second: Pink Slip author and USF creative writing professor Rita Ciresi.
70. BEST THEATER COMPANY
American Stage
211 Third St. S.
St. Petersburg 727-823-PLAY
Though American Stage's 2000-01 season was officially devoted to "Heritage and Family," it might more accurately have been dedicated to "The New World and the Old." Among the four plays focused mainly on America, the winner was easily From the Mississippi Delta, Dr. Endesha Ida Mae Holland's autobiographical work about three generations of African-American women overcoming prejudice and poverty. From Ireland came another success, Frank and Malachy McCourt's A Couple of Blaguards, in which Howard Platt and Michael T. Judd powerfully demonstrated how humor and song can assuage the wounds of ignorance and, again, penury. From overseas, there was Dylan Thomas' charming (if not very theatrical) A Child's Christmas in Wales, and from France there was Corneille's neo-classical The Illusion, adapted by Tony Kushner. Even when the scripts left something to be desired — as did Jeff Baron's Visiting Mr. Green, Richard Dresser's Gun-Shy, and David Davalos' Darkfall — all productions displayed American Stage's continuing tradition of distinction in acting and design. This is a first-class theater and we should be glad it's in our midst.
71. BEST ACTOR
David Jenkins
Although he managed to convey outer-space self-restraint a couple of years ago in Whirligig, David Jenkins seems most himself when he's letting his considerable energy run wild — as in last season's The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged). Thanks to Jenkins (and fellow actors Jason Evans and Robert Ray Morgan), Complete Works was silly, sloppy fun, a hit-and-miss assault on the Bard that at best was hilarious and at worst was (pleasantly) sophomoric. Imagine all the raucous energy of the Three Stooges, Saturday Night Live and a drunken fraternity talent show, and you have a sense of Jenkins at his riotous best. This is an actor who loves to let loose; and when it's right for the play, the results are uproarious.
72. BEST ACTRESS — TIE
Sharon Chudnow, Ami Sallee Corley, Susan Demers, Colleen McDonnell
In the relatively short time that Sharon Chudnow has been acting on local stages, she's shown herself to be a graceful, intelligent performer who always seems in possession of a rich interior life. Most recently she appeared as one of six Marilyn Monroes — the psychologically damaged one — in Gerlind Reinshagen's The Life and Death of Marilyn Monroe, presented at Theatre USF. Ami Sallee Corley's acting is equally impressive, but of a different type — from American Stage's A Child's Christmas in Wales to Jobsite Theater's The Nature of Fear, she persuasively invests herself in her characters' emotional lives, erasing the distinction between actress and role. Colleen McDonnell is an extraordinarily multitalented performer whom we need to see more of — last season she was terrific in Gorilla Theatre's Don Juan in Hell and in TBPAC's The World of Jacques Brel. And Susan Demers' singing and dancing has been pleasing community theater audiences for years — her most notable recent success was as Sarah Bernhardt in The Ladies of the Camellias at St. Petersburg Little Theatre. Brava! to each of you.
*73. BEST COMMUNITY THEATER
St. Petersburg Little Theatre
4025 31st St. S.
St. Petersburg 727-866-1973
Drama, comedy, musicals, a thriller and a farce: Last season The St. Petersburg Little Theatre had something for everyone. The season began with Terrence Rattigan's The Winslow Boy, a serious play about guilt and innocence, and continued with the musical comedy Sugar, based on the classic Billy Wilder film Some Like it Hot. In January, the perils of monogamy were the focus in Leslie Stevens' romantic comedy The Marriage-Go-Round; it was followed by Tim Kelly's spooky thriller The Uninvited, about a charming old house with a horrifying old secret. In April, Tevye the Milkman wished he were a rich man in the celebrated musical Fiddler on the Roof, and then in June, Sarah Bernhardt and Eleanora Duse squared off in Lillian Garrett-Groag's farce The Ladies of the Camellias. Add to this the special Lobby Theatre productions of A Tribute to Black History and Fractured Folk Tales, and you had a year full of crowd-pleasers and special events to cheer a community's heart. Which is just what SPLT did.
74. BEST VISUAL ARTIST
Barbra Beeler, a.k.a. Barbie Beeler
This poll reminds us of Family Feud. The Beelers vs. the Bridges (that's Barbie vs. Rocky). Though it's Barb by a neck — a very small neck — Beeler it is. A photographer with several distinct bodies of work, and do we mean "distinct," Beeler has made quite a splash in the Tampa Bay area. As in juried into a Studio Gallery on Azeele exhibition by juror GCMA's Ken Rollins. As in invited into TMA'S prestigious under-CURRENT/overVIEW 4. You weren't likely to see her leather-vested tough guy and gal series at the museum. No, they went for something tamer like her snazzy still life composites. Beeler creates these with a Polaroid camera which she rents on globe-trotting treks to Prague and other exotic locales. Our critic thinks these are her best suit — suit as in style, not as in tight leather. Beeler is a personality around the Bay area, where she appears at most art openings, squired by her ever-present, ever-charming, and profoundly dedicated hubby Jim. He's a personality in his own right. Truth is, every artist needs to be married to Jim. Now, isn't that a provocative idea? So Jim maintains Barbie's Web site, chooses her art, and functions as the kind of press agent that would make Madonna and Britney quiver in their boots with jealousy.
75. BEST MUSEUM
Salvador Dali Museum
1000 Third St. S.
St. Petersburg 727-823-3767
My oh my, don't our readers have sensible taste. They've picked the Bayfronted Dali which not only has an impressive bounty of genuine Dalis, but also the busiest gift store. Don't forget to purchase a coffee mug or kitschy melting clock to suit your intellect, or better yet, your color scheme. The Dali has something most of the other area museums don't seem to have, which is real live bodies lining up for the docent talks. All gentle jabs aside, the Dali is one of our Bay area treasures and we do appreciate its presence and contributions to cultural life here in the land of drunken pirates and large roaches. Kudos to Dr. William Jeffetts, director of special exhibitions, He gets to round out the Dali stuff with some contemporary art. Sensible to be sure.
76. BEST GALLERY
Salvador Dali Museum
1000 Third St. S.
St. Petersburg 727-823-3767
Readers, dear readers, how many times have we told you? When you vote for Best Gallery, pick a gallery, not a museum. But you've gone and done it! Down here at the Planet we refuse to count our chads, so after noting your inability to follow voting directions, much less distinguish one art venue from another, we've decided to talk up your second choice — Hyde Park Fine Arts. It's a bona fide gallery. It has all the good stuff that goes with art, like a big wall filled with frames, 'cause, let's face it, selling art doesn't always put bread on the table. What makes HPFA a cut above all other candidates? One theory is location, location, location. Maybe so. Owner Tim Waad and gallery curator Kathie Olivas know they're at the crossroads of the universe. But then lets give some credit where credit is due. Olivas — also an artist on her way up (she's showing in Detroit) — masterminds (and hangs) a continuous-feed exhibition schedule focusing on a cross section of Bay area talent. Congrats HPFA.
77. BEST PUBLIC ART
Security Lizard'
By Paul Eppling
Fleet Maintenance Building roof
1800 Seventh Ave. N.
St. Petersburg
Double congratulations are due here. First to St. Pete's found-object sculptor Paul Eppling for creating "Security Lizard," and to Planet readers for choosing the PC non-gender specific "Lizzie" as their favorite piece of public art. Lizard viewing is available from the Fifth Ave. N. entry ramp onto I-275, where our adorable metallic pal is poised to snatch his ever-present snack of fly. We can all sleep better, knowing that Security Lizard is on the job. Further congratulations to the inventive Eppling for his entire repertory company of charming creatures, including Tricycle-trops, Armadillo-Bipedal Walking and Junkasaurus. If you saw his exhibition last winter (titled What I Did Last Summer, at Salt-Creek Galleries), you'd have marveled at his environmentally-friendly process of recycling castaways that the rest of us throw in the dump — stuff like old heating coils, toasters, typewriters and automotive parts. Just think, your garbage might be the stuff of Eppling's dreams.
GOODS & SERVICES
78. BEST HAIR STYLIST
Barbara Kennedy
Kennedy Salon & Day Spa
220 N. Howard Ave.
Tampa 813-254-0012 or 253-2032
Confidence and accomplishment can be both a blessing and a curse when it comes picking a top-rate person to do your hair. There are those who are talented and professional and go about the business of styling your hair, period. And then there are those who know they are talented and won't cease to remind you of their accolades. Sometimes to the point of severing your bangs too short because they're so busy praising themselves. Apparently Barbara Kennedy, owner of Kennedy Salon and Day Spa and former member of the NEXXUS Design Team and instructor at national and local hair shows, doesn't let things go to her head — or to yours. Though she also works behind the scenes as a hair designer and makeup artist for TV on-air talent and on-location model photo shoots, she still gets much love from each and every one of her clients at Kennedy Salon & Day Spa. spa@kennedydayspa.com
79. BEST FURNITURE
Diamond Furniture Gallery
2501-A W. Kennedy Blvd.
Tampa 813-254-1033
Meet George Jetson … his living room … and his dinette! This boutique of 1950s-realized futuristic furniture combines retro chic and thoroughly modern moxie. Owners Madeline and Roberto Diaz sell items with an emphasis on fun, elegance and color. Though the price tags may seem at first a bit prohibitive, Roberto Diaz designs and customizes a good deal of the sofas, shelves, tables and chairs here, and they're all marked below suggested retail. At Diamond you'll find pieces in chrome, wood, frosted glass, with oblong, geometric and sensual shapes. Those who can't afford to redecorate with a two-tone velvet chaise lounge or sleek oak wall unit can check out the numerous accessories Diamond offers — vases, bookends, mobiles, lamps, candle-holders and wall mirrors.
80. BEST GIFT STORE
Nicholson House
2560 N. McMullen-Booth Road
Clearwater 727-669-8006
and
Old Hyde Park Village
1605 Snow Ave.
Tampa 813-258-3991
You want practicality, go to that big store with goods made by underpaid Taiwanese teens. But if you want cool stuff not emblazoned with ducks, flowers and Christian propaganda, then head to Nicholson House. Here you'll find magnets with film legends and old TV shows (e.g., The Bugaloos!), kooky pet paraphernalia, funny cards, original artwork and jewelry, books, knickknacks and other pretty and pretty-smelling things you won't find at a place where the workers wear blue aprons and talk loudly over intercoms.
* 81. BEST CD STORE
Vinyl Fever
2307 S. Dale Mabry
Tampa 813-251-8399
Yeah, you know it, baby. You know which music store has the best selection — whether you're after a Jim Nabors Christmas album or the latest Wu-Tang clan CD. You know which store has the best visual ambiance with vintage posters and wickedly funny, arty placeholders (the one for Sting features an article about when he used to be cool). And you know what salespeople are friendly and knowledgeable, not condescending. And, finally, you know, who has thee best collection of used CDs. Why do we even bother since you know all this? Just wanted to let you know that we know you know and let you know we're right there with ya.
82. BEST WOMEN'S FASHION
Saks Fifth Avenue
222 West Shore Blvd.
Tampa 813-371-5100
When it comes to fashion, our readers are very choosy. The female readers who voted for this category may chow on KFC and Chili's (as evidenced in the Food portion of our Readers' Poll) but when they go shopping, they go for broke. Saks is the ultimate in refinement, designer wear and top-notch customer service. While neighboring Burdines looks like an Israeli war zone — especially during their coupon blowout sales — Saks offers feng shui with finesse. You won't see jammed sales racks, shoeboxes cluttered up while frustrated customers line up to talk to the only disgruntled salesperson in the department. Instead, you find sleekly decorated sections selling such top names as Donna Karan, Dolce & Gabbana, Vera Wang and Badgley Mischka.
83. BEST MEN'S FASHION
Structure
Various Bay area mall locations
With the choice of Structure, our male readers say they like to dress nice but not spend a fortune. The chain strikes a nice balance between the tried-and-true and the trendy. For instance, when grown men decided to stop looking like B-Boys and start wearing sleeker clothes — narrower pants, tighter shirts — Structure was the first mass-market store where you could walk in with a copy of GQ, point to the picture of the skinny pants, and have the clerk direct you to a rack. They had 'em in stock, by gosh. Structure's selection is varied but not overwhelming; its staff friendly and helpful. There's always some REAL GOOD DEALS, not just leftover shit strewn on clearance racks.
84. BEST BOOKSTORE
Barnes & Noble
Locations throughout the Bay area
Comfort and no-hassle browsing are two reasons people endure these sterile, fluorescent-lighted Mega-Lo-Mart-style bookstores. The main reason: selection. Barnes & Noble has an extensive index of genres, a great news and magazine stand, nifty-gifty cards and journals selection and, of course, a coffee shop.
85. BEST NEWSSTAND
Barnes & Noble
This one's a little dehumanizing. When we picture a newsstand, we picture a friendly old cigar-smoking guy named Joe running a narrow store filled to the rafters with foreign press and girlie mags. You go in and give your leftover hot dog to his pet Boxer, Lefty. Oops. Wait a minute. That's New York. We momentarily forgot where we lived. … Here, neighborhood stands are relegated to boxy shopping centers visited by a very select clientele. The ubiquitous nature of B&N and its comfy environs — not to mention its extensive selection of foreign and domestic and scholarly print — make this corporate giant the obvious winner for Tampa Bay readers.
86. BEST FLEA MARKET
Oldsmar Flea Market
180 Race Track Road S.
Oldsmar 813-855-5306
For some reason, lots of people have a hard time finding this reader fave. Arguably the largest market in the Bay area, Oldsmar Flea sits a quarter-mile south of Tampa Bay Downs, just off the corner of Hillsborough Avenue and Race Track Road, and is freakin' huge! Anyone not finding it is either talking on a cell phone or letting Ray Charles do the driving. With more than 2,000 booths, OFM isn't exactly a speck on the map. Directionally impaired types aside, the market is still packed every Saturday and Sunday, and with good reason. There's no better place to seek out secondhand goods. We wouldn't mind if OFM banned the Crowd Stoppers — you know, those people inflicted with the disorder that causes them to stop dead in their tracks in the middle of a crowded, swiftly moving thoroughfare. But that's a small price to pay for the excellent fresh produce, bad-but-oh-so-good snack bars, miles and miles of antiques, collectibles and bric-a-brac, not to mention the bakeries, beauticians and nurseries. Add a bar and a few bunks and we'd never leave.
87. BEST THRIFT STORE
Salvation Army
Locations Throughout the Bay Area
813-962-6611
We're goin' back to Sally, to Sally, to Sally … OK, so maybe we're not a laugh riot every second of the day, but our massacred version of LL Cool J's "Going Back to Cali" still sums up how we, and our readers, feel about the good ol' Salvation Army. Cheap is still chic as far as you're concerned, and one would be hard pressed to find anything cheaper than the goods at the Sally (except the South MacDill location — what up wit you and your high-ass prices? Macy's you ain't!). With more than a dozen locations in the Bay area, it's the convenience store of thrift shops, and whether you're looking for clothes, furniture or some off-beat swag for a recycled art project, Sally's got the props that rock. Our favorite Sally's is the huge one waaaaaay north in Tampa at 13910 N. Nebraska Ave. (813-972-4777). They have a fab selection of vintage furniture from the 1950s, '60s and '70s. It's priced right to move fast, and Winnie might cut you a deal on stuff that's been around too long.
88. BEST ANTIQUE STORE
Sherry's YesterDaze
1908 S. MacDill Ave.
Tampa 813-258-2388
You surprised us on this one. With the dozens of antique shops in places like, say Tarpon Springs, we thought everyone would be going Greek for this category. But Sherry's it is, and we have to hand it to you; one look at this crammed-but-cozy shop and it's obvious that if Sherry's doesn't have it, you don't need it. This homage to eras past is like childhood all over again, minus the zits and phys. ed. Wander around and you'll find all the retro, vintage and antique delights your parents and grandparents coveted way back when. The store proper houses glassware, books and magazines, linens, clothes, shoes, hats (and hat boxes!), games, lunch boxes, kitchen appliances, sewing machines, fans, phones, knickknacks, bric-a-brac and all manner of nifty things. A separate annex, connected by a common back yard full of lawn furniture and statuary, offers furniture and other large items, with much, much more to come.
89. BEST USED BOOKSTORE
Haslam's Book Store
2025 Central Ave.
St. Petersburg 727-822-8616
It was a landslide victory for Haslam's, and we can sum up the reason for its popularity in three words: 300,000-plus books! Self-described as "Florida's greatest rainy-day attraction," Haslam's is the largest independently owned bookstore in the Southeast and a popular attraction, rain or shine. Among the rows and rows of new and used books is something (or several somethings) for everyone, and the helpful staff encourages visitors to cop a squat wherever they like and browse. If you happen to ask managers Ray and Suzanne Hinst about the shop's history, you'll learn about visits from Jack Kerouac, who used to drop by when he lived in St. Pete and rearrange his books for maximum exposure. Stop by sometime if you haven't yet, but there's no hurry: With nearly 70 years under its belt, we're sure this Tampa Bay treasure isn't going anywhere too soon.
90. BEST MALL
Citrus Park Town Center
8021 Citrus Park Drive
Tampa 813-926-4644
This sure 'nuff is the purdiest mall we ever did see, full of all the chi-chi stores Tampa's burgeoning yuppie population loves the most. Poo-pooing West Shore Plaza's budget-busting Saks Fifth Avenue, you professional shoppers out there go to Citrus instead, breaking the bank at places like Nine West, Abercrombie & Fitch, Banana Republic, Restoration Hardware, Williams-Sonoma and 130 or so other status-symbol shops. The decor is tres family friendly, complete with bronze sculptures of frolicking kids; free strollers and wheelchairs; and mall "street" designations, like East Main and Burdines "avenues." Personally, we can't think of anything more depressing than, say, the Gap or Disney Store, but if you're hell-bent on spending the afternoon disguised as a walking poster for runaway consumerism, Citrus Park is indeed a lovely place to do it. And Regal 20 Cinemas does rock. www.citrusparktowncenter.com
91. BEST BOUTIQUE
If and Only If
4336 Fourth St. N.
St. Petersburg 727-528-9490
If you know nothing of fashion, not to worry If and Only If's got you covered. Virtually any ensemble from this tiny boutique will have you looking like you've just stepped off the pages of Vogue. Owners Teresa and Jorge Vidal definitely have style to spare but it'll cost ya. Unless you're looking for a chic little gifty item — which this shop has plenty of, in the form of slightly pricey candles, soaps, picture frames and the like — you must have two things to possess any of the smart clothes: a svelte figure and a fat wallet. To borrow a phrase from a certain nameless coworker, If and Only If is trendy-high-endy. Seeing as how the boutique won this category, however, some of you obviously are able to fork over $65 for a basic shirt, $90 for a purse and up to $300 for an itty-bitty dress. And more power to ya.
92. BEST HEAD SHOP
Wooden Nickel
1441 E. Fletcher Ave., Suite 141
Tampa 813-971-9322
We had few reservations about entrusting you, the reader, with a good portion of the Best of the Bay winners. The Bay area belongs to you, after all, and logic dictates no one would know better the best restaurants, clubs, shops and pastimes. And for the most part you do. A few dirty-pool-type ballot stuffers aside, you've indeed opened out eyes to myriad people, places and things we've overlooked in the past. But, alas, you don't always do your research, evident in your choice of Wooden Nickel as Best Head Shop. This North Tampa mainstay has indeed been many things over its 28-year existence, even — yes — a mediocre head shop. But times they do a-change, even for novelty shops. And that's what Wooden Nickel has become — novel. Now, this isn't to say this stuffed little shop doesn't deserve to be best; they just don't deserve it in this category. Best Costume Shop … probably. Best Adult-Store-Lite, definitely. Best Pewter-Dragon, Dirty-Greeting-Card and Assorted-Household-Bric-A-Brac Store? You betcha. For the occasional one-hitter, Dugout, wood pipe or cig papers, feel free to stop by. For a more fitting winner in the Best Head Shop category, check out the Planet's Best Bong Selection winner.
93. BEST PLACE TO BUY CIGARS
Cigar Central
40 N. Fort Harrison Ave.
Clearwater 727-298-8844
When a hankerin' for a sweet stogie takes hold, personally, we prefer Ybor City. After all, it is known for churning out a cigar or two. But shit, man — it's really about geography for us. Our offices sit in the Latin Quarter and, quite frankly, we're too damn lazy to seek outside smokes. But not you, our 'gar-puffing readers. When you want to engulf yourself in a thick haze of mellow cigar scents, you follow your nose to Cigar Central. But Clearwater? No way. Even the promise of our favorite three-in-one Culebra isn't enough to make us want to wade through Scientology City. Hold on — what's this? Cigar Central has a Web site? And the selective shop will ship my stogies right to my door? Problem solved! If you don't have enough time or guts to admire the store's selection in person —Robustos, Perfectos and Churchills; from Arturo Fuente to Torano — just log on, let 'em deliver, light and repeat. www.877tobacco.com
94. BEST TATTOO AND PIERCING PARLOR
Balls of Steel
6508 Fourth St. N.
St. Petersburg 727-527-1688
and
At Suncoast Resort Hotel
3000 34th St. S., Suite 33
St. Petersburg 727-866-6300
The number of tattoo-wearin' Planeteers has slowly dwindled over the years (sob, sniffle!), so we deferred this category to our ever-body-modifyin' readers. Balls of Steel was the firm winner and after stopping by for a visit, we understand why. Sterility is an ugly word in many situations, but not when it comes to tattoo shops. Not only do you feel safe getting a tat or piercing here, but you might wanna schedule some major surgery while you're at it it's that clean. The tattoos are first rate, with some of the best color work we've seen in a while. On the piercing end, Balls of Steel has a vast selection of some of the coolest jewelry we've ever laid eyes on. Check out The Organic Collection, particularly intriguing pieces fashioned from water buffalo horn and bone found in Bali, Borneo and Malaysia. The hip shops also feature a tasteful selection of unique gifts from South America, Africa and other countries. And geez the employees are just so gosh darn nice!
95. BEST VINTAGE CLOTHING
La France
1612 E. Seventh Ave.
Ybor City 813-248-1381
So this is where everyone's getting their fancy vintage duds? Yeah, as if we didn't know. This category's an easy win for La France and deservedly so: The place is so jam-packed with retro clothes, jewelry, shoes, bags and hats, it can easily take days to check out the stock. The men's selection kicks butt too, and the staff's oh-so-nice. Aside from being a hot spot for lotsa local bands and the more well-heeled members of the Bay area community, La France also boasts an impressive star clientele. Marilyn Manson, Poe and plenty of other high-profile music types have stopped by while in town. And, of course, Cameron Diaz pops in several times each year — her dad's crazy about the shop's kickin' Hawaiian shirts.
96. BEST SHOE STORE
Payless
Locations throughout the Bay area
Whoa, whoa … wait a minute. Our readers pick Saks and Structure for fashion and Payless for shoes. Isn't that a tad inconsistent? Maybe not. Because at Payless you can sport leather sandals and boots in all the latest styles without paying an arm and a foot. Psst. They're selling Steve Madden "All man made — Made in China" (read: plastic crap) shoes in Burdines' and Dillards' hipster sections for $50 to a hundred bucks. Hello! These are no different, maybe worse, than the economical pairs at Payless. Hey, isn't it best to look smart and be smart?
MEDIA
97. BEST DAILY NEWSPAPER
'The Tampa Tribune'
Who are we to argue with the readers? The St. Petersburg Times might scoop up more awards and have a lead in subscribers, but our poll shows you favor the Tampa Tribune. Good for the Trib. We give the Tampa paper high points for its recent redesign, and commend its Web site as one of the best around.
98. BEST COLUMNIST
Steve Otto, The Tampa Tribune'
Otto, a blend of self-effacing humor and perceptive insight, is a voice to whom most people can relate. He avoids the snobbishness of the Times' Howard Troxler, doesn't have the sharp edges of Mary Jo Melone, and he far outdistances Dan Ruth in his range of interests. He has blessed this area as the Papa Guava of Guavaween and added to our culinary heritage (and the sales of Tums) with his chili contests. It's even easy to chuckle at his "I'm writing about my vacation so I can get a tax write-off" columns. On top of all of that, Otto is a genuinely good guy.
99. BEST REPORTER
Barron Johnson, WFTS-Ch. 28
Thank you, Barron Johnson, sayeth the Planet's readers. Thank you for your fastidious news reports. Thank you for your windswept swath of fudge-brown hair. Thank you for not sporting a John Stossel mustache. Some of Barron Johnson's dead-on-balls news reports this year, legible on tampabaylive.com: "Parents cope with back-to-school blues," "Fans flock to Bucs' training camp" and "Rhino Rally to reopen soon." Hey, who says this ain't a news town?
*100. BEST TV STATION
WTVT-Fox Ch. 13
While WFLA-Ch. 8 was off screwing around with "team coverage" and "convergence," WTVT was doing a good job at what it has done a good job at for years: News. Its content remains the leader in the area — at least according to Weekly Planet readers. The payoff is that WTVT is giving WFLA a good run for the ratings top spot.
101. BEST TV PERSONALITY
Nancy Alexander, WTVT-Fox Ch. 13
We almost lost you, Nancy. You almost got called up to the Big Show. To be specific, you almost joined that rascal Regis Philbin in New York. Yes, we almost surrendered another talented artist — for an artist is what you are, Nancy, a multimedia performance artist — to the Big Apple. What a big move that would have been for you. We chuckle quietly to ourselves thinking what jarring mornings home-bound America would have been in for — just the kind of jolt those hungover wastrels could've used to get them out the door and job hunting as the economy sags and unemployment climbs. Had you hooked up with Regis, would you have sent us a postcard, you know, once in a while? We like to think you would have, Nancy, but only you know the extent to which your media ambitions corrupt your soul. Anyway, Regis' loss is Tampa Bay's gain. And not only do we still get to see you on Fox 13, we also still get to hear your singular voice on the radio, a freak show comprising socially awkward, ugly and otherwise inept people who, rather than be homebound, seek careers in the media.
102. BEST NEWS ANCHOR
Bob Hite, WFLA-Ch. 8
His hair hasn't budged a millimeter in the last three or four decades. His face is as solid, serious and stoic as those on Mount Rushmore. He has sly sense of humor. He's believable. No intellectual, to be sure, but he's solidly grounded in reality.
103. BEST TV METEOROLOGIST
Steve Jerve
WFLA-Ch. 8
This tall fellow cuts a fine figure in a suit. His hair looks surprisingly natural for a talking head. And he's got his meteorological chops down. We tend to forget that TV weathermen are schooled scientists as well. No, really, they are. Jerve took over for the retired David Grant, a study in folksiness, a couple of years ago. His on-air persona is more sophisticated, although a bit remote. You don't really know if you like the guy, and on TV, even when you're giving a weather forecast, it's good to be liked. But he gets his info across in a smooth, easily understood fashion. The real test of a chief meteorologist is during the long haul of a major hurricane, and Jerve has yet to clear that hurdle in this market. Something tells us he'll do fine, and not end up looking nearly as haggard as Dick Fletcher.
104. BEST RADIO PERSONALITY
Bubba the Love Sponge
You still love the fat man. OK, not as fat. He's down a couple hundred pounds to about 300. You love him even though he slaughters pigs; well, not exactly slaughters the pigs, but incites the slaughter and enacts it on the radio. Bubba proves that crass, crude, tasteless and — most of all — cruel can still rule the Tampa Bay airwaves. But we're betting the backlash is not far off. And when the backlash hits, it'll hit hard, leaving Bubba to pack up the side of bacon he probably got from the hog slaughter and high-tail it out of town.
105. BEST RADIO STATION
WSUN-97X FM
The new kid on the dial strikes a chord with Bay area listeners. Maybe it's their willingness to spin rock conceived after George Bush left the White House; maybe it's their killer Sunday night old-school alternative programming. Probably, it's got something to do with the fact that every one else (WMNF's longstanding exception is, of course, duly noted) sucks like a vampire with a tapeworm. Only in Tampa's woefully stale airwave-climate could a familiarity with Weezer qualify a station for cutting-edge status — for any other large market, 97X's modus operandi would be the norm. But we're here, and thankfully, so is the station. Comparatively fresh radio is certainly better than no fresh radio, and obviously our readers agree. Additional kudos must also be doled out for their efforts where original music is concerned; while the station isn't exactly spinning local acts during drive-time, the exposure they give bands through advertising their "97X Nights" at various clubs is more than the scene has been afforded in quite some time.
106. BEST 'WEEKLY PLANET' WRITER TO HATE
Sterling Powell
Here at the Planet, many of us guessed this category would come down to a drum-tight race betwixt Sterling Powell, stargazing gabber, and John Sugg, muckraking boomer. Turns out the stargazing gabber, wearing a dapper red soldier uniform, beat the muckraking boomer, wearing a Hawaiian shirt from Sears, by just three votes. This is ineffably iniquitous! This is an injustice worthy of a Notebook column demanding equality for all Planet writers! My impotent rage knows no bounds! Hmm? Oh, you want me to get on with it? OK. Anyway, while Sterling Powell was out making kissy face with the elite and munching on Kunsei (whatever the hell that is, Sterling looked splendorrific skarfing it) you cruel bastards out there in Readerland tore the caps off your Bic pens and stabbed the back of the one Tampa Bay man whose mission in life is to be loved, to spread love, to become a being of pure love. Wait, that's Joe Redner. But still, this won't put an ounce of bounce in Sterling's curlicue.
107. BEST 'WEEKLY PLANET' WRITER TO LOVE
John F. Sugg
Did we love him enough, really? Or did we take for granted this cherub-faced, pasty-skinned fella right up until his departure? Even when he was writing ad nauseam about his adopted gaggle of kids or his rickety old sailboat (may it rest in pieces next to Davy Jones' Locker) his tough-love columns gripped us in a spine-cracking group bearhug. In return, readers called for one big-ass shout-out to John Sugg, the man who wasn't afraid to take on local illuminaries such as Bubba the Love Sponge, Ed Turanchik, Dick "Hizzoner" Greco, as well as national figures like Steve Emerson Lake and Palmer, or whatever the name of that lawsuit-happy guy was. Sadly, Sugg has moved on to the greener pastures — er, make that greedier urban sprawl — of Atlanta to indulge in his brand of politico skull crackings. You know what that means: Dave Jasper, who lost by three measly votes, is already buying votes toward next year's ballot-stuffing campaign.
108. BEST THING WE OVERLOOKED
BEST DAY SPA
Kennedy Salon & Day Spa
220 N. Howard Ave.
Tampa 813-254-0012
Kennedy Salon & Day Spa ran away with this category, leading one to believe there might have been some sort of organized effort to get out the vote. Hell, the owner was voted best stylist. (Maybe they hired Katherine Harris to run their campaign.) But the ballots checked out, and we're passing on contact info to Al Gore, so he can get some pointers on how it's done. Located in an old house, the spa has a quiet, homey feel, not at all snotty and pretentious, like some places that cater to ladies with nothing better to do with their time and money than lavish it on their own vanity. (In fact, they do have a gentleman's spa retreat package that includes an express facial, massage, sports manicure and haircut for $145). You get the feeling that the people here really are enjoying a rare and well-earned treat. Prices are reasonable, and services include all manner of manicures, pedicures, wraps, waxings, facials, massage, hairstyling and even permanent makeup. Kennedy Salon, which is not on Kennedy Boulevard, also carries skin-care products and various nifty gifty do-dads.
This article appears in Sep 20-26, 2001.